i don't like the drugs(but the drugs like me).
Salutations.
My name's Jonan,
I'm an 18 year old with the lungs and liver of a 70 year old.
If by any unfortunate(for you) chance,
you get to know me more intimately,
you will find that I:
am quite the cynical little shit
am rather lazy,that's what everyone tells me anyway.
prefer night so much more over the day that I've made a few owl friends.
experiment with the stupidest things possible and still think I am reasonably intelligent.
have an ectoplasmic look during classes.
change brands of cigarettes as much as a girl changes clothes.
am an asshole in my own right,if you know what's good for you,you won't get close.
have an email address;jonan_yip@hotmail.com.
Misery loves company which is why I'm never alone.
Don't say I didn't warn ya.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Tragedy.
Haven't been blogging much because blogger ate up my first post.And my second.So I was pretty demoralised.Don't give me that look I'll poke your eyes out.Alright.Currently(as usual) I'm in over my ass with overdue holiday homework.
I'd like to raise a few questions in this post.Firstly,why the fuck do they give homework on holidays?
The definition(Cambridge) of a holiday is:"1 [C or U] UK (US vacation) a time, often one or two weeks, when someone does not go to work or school but is free to do what they want, such as travel or
relax."How the flying fuck are we supposed to do
relax if they attempt to work out asses off over trigonometry,ionicwhatshitsbonds,chung hwa yi,magnesium chloride solution,graphs,algebra,algepanties,alg-string and whatever fuck-faced you-name-its watchamacallits.The definition of relax is:1 [I or T] to (cause someone to) become less active and more
calm and
happy, or to (cause a part of the body to) become less stiff(erm wtf that sounds wrong)Other adjectives branched out from relax.relaxed:adjective 1 feeling happy and comfortable because nothing is worrying you.Why did I bring out all this shit you might ask?Well,because I think you lot are shitforbrains.Nah.It's just to make a point.Again.
Why the fuck do you give out homework on holidays?Then again,it might be to keep us occupied while they go about with their daily business such as golf -_- Hitting balls has never been so
boring.The idea of a holiday is to relax.If you still don't know what relax is after all the shit on top then you are a dipshit and your only object in life is to commit suicide by dipping yourself in tar and sesame seeds to get pecked to death by chickens with bird flu that are already dying but want to eat some more and would eventually cause your death because they're dipshits too.Then again it would be quite messy to clean up.Our parents may be paying the school to issue more homework.E.g:MOE:"Hm may be good to let the students have a rest once in a while.Okay.Homework is not to be issued on the holidays."Parents:"WTF!They'll be like fucking us up for one whole month!Now I'll have to guard my heroin stash!How bout getting the teachers to load em with homework to keep them busy."Kiasu parent(who sends kid to tution,ballet,piano,violin,calligraphy,poetry and swimming classes in hopes that the kid will score 4 points and go to Hwa Chong and become an award-winning ballet dancer,famous pianist,some distinguished violinist that gets paid $1000000000000 a concert and is fluent in calligraphy and poetry so he/she can clinch a rich wife/husband.Not to mention win at least 8 SEA games gold medals for swimming so that they can melt them down and sell them):"Eh!Wahlau!They damn noisy leh.Call the teacher give homework leh.Maybe he will be so overworked that he commit suicide arh.Good leh,peace and insuarance $$$!Kill two birds with one stone ah!Smart hor?Anyways,he also hasn't been performing well in his ballet class,now ballet dancer dance dance dance until alot of money leh.Before call the teacher remember to call James the insurance agent hor.Harlo ah James!Eh,I want to take up three more life policies on Donny ah.Ah ya.The 500,000 one...."
Principal(with $100,000 a month salary):WTH!We can't give them homework then how to earn extra from parents?!People need to support family one leh!(keeps wife and kid in a cage and feeds them sunflower seeds once a day)"
What the fuck.
You all better go check your insurance accounts.
Anyway,that's all I have to say.HOLIDAYS ARE FOR RELAXING YOU SCHOOL MANAGEMENT MOFOS!
P.S Dear, sorry.Don't worry I not angry <3 ^^
Signing off,Jonan/Twiggy.Gotta check my insuarance policies.
9:06 PM
Sunday, June 11, 2006
New Skin.
Changed my skin.Expect me to be blogging soon.Anyway,still have to work out the kinks in my template.
12:32 AM
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Lolita Complex.
Harrow harrow,I'm baaacck.It's now the second week of June but I'm still getting fucked in the backside thanks to the PTM.I wonder if teachers are PAID to make students' lives miseries.Maybe schools are all elaborate film studios and they're taping down our reactions to the shit we're put through.And they make helluva killing out of their tapes.They sell them to bored parents or sadistic paedophiles who jack off to them.Damn.Imagine someone using your face to wank to.Okay.Enough of that thought.
These films could be called...MfE films huh?Misery for Entertainment.Parents would visit each other for these sort of movies and comment on them.Heck,they could even become critics.Parent 1:"Hahaahahhahaa.Did you see the look on his face when he was told he was gonna get caning for not shaving his armpit hair?"Parent 2*chuckling:"Yeaah.That one was reaaally funny.But I think the best part is this one."*Fast forwards.Parent 2:"This part.When he's gonna commit suicide cause he failed his math for the 4th time."Parent 1:"LOL.Look at his face!He's stepping over the edge.Ohhhhhhhh."Parent 2*laughing harder then ever:"DAMN!Look at all the blood!His brains are all over the floor!He sure won't pass his maths next time!"Parent 1:"Eh.Isn't that your kid?"Parent 2:"Oh Fuck."
No wonder our school has CCTVs all over the place.
Bah.Anyways it's just the start of the month.What else could go wrong?(Asking for it)I'm totally carefree now.I'm gonna live my holiday to it's limit.Right after I screen my room for hidden cameras.They might catch sight of my underwear cupboard and the next moment you know,the entire parent population will know what I'm wearing for the next month.Huzzah.
Till I update,Jonan/Twiggy.
11:02 PM