Salutations.
My name's Jonan,
I'm an 18 year old with the lungs and liver of a 70 year old.
If by any unfortunate(for you) chance,
you get to know me more intimately,
you will find that I:
am quite the cynical little shit
am rather lazy,that's what everyone tells me anyway.
prefer night so much more over the day that I've made a few owl friends.
experiment with the stupidest things possible and still think I am reasonably intelligent.
have an ectoplasmic look during classes.
change brands of cigarettes as much as a girl changes clothes.
am an asshole in my own right,if you know what's good for you,you won't get close.
have an email address;jonan_yip@hotmail.com.

Misery loves company which is why I'm never alone. Don't say I didn't warn ya.

Due to some egging to update my blog,I am well,updating.Well,this is rather late but congrats to the PRCS Idol,Hanani.Gratz to Syaz as well although I don't know why you got third.Farhan got like single-digit number of votes?MOST IMPORTANTLY,THE JUDGES WASTED MY FUCKING VOTE.And you wasted quite a considerable sum of money bribing everyone to vote for you huh.Yay I can now buy new pants lmao.Nah,I'm kidding,Syazwan scared the audience into voting for him ^^


More recently,which was the day before yesterday,which is as recent as you can get to recent next to yesterday.Fuck.I think I should stop snorting crack and type.Well,whilst walking along the park with Zhiyong at approx. 10.45 pm,we found a wallet.HOORAH!Possible scenarios if someone else found a wallet:A law-abiding citizen:"Hm..I should return this to the police.The poor fellow would need to pay $300 to remake his IC."A primary schoolkid:"Waaahhh.Come and see Thomas!The phone card very nice leh.(dumps the rest of the wallet in a nearby trashcan.)"Me:"Wah fuck find wallet also never find LV or Gucci."


I guess you all know what kind of person I am :D


Well,I was planning to keep the IC so I could pass for pool legally and stuff like that.Unfortunately,the IC was belonging to someone of Indian nationality.And yeah,I can imagine people working at the pool counter complaining that plastic surgery bloody cheap and is available to 16 year old kids nowadays.And then later people call me Chinese Michael Jackson.So no.No Indian IC for me.Next to that,the first thing I noticed was that there was only 10 cents in it.The second thing I noticed was that there was a death certificate in it.So we are back to the scenarios.A superstitious person:"I better make offerings to the dead person lah,later ghost follow me go home rape backside in the toilet."A normal person:"Wahlao.How dead people wallet end up here siaaalll."Me:"Cheebye lah!Find wallet not only never find LV or Gucci,INSIDE ONLY GOT ONE MOTHERFUCK 10 CENTS."


We decided to surrender the wallet to the police since,A:There was no money in it.B:It belonged to a dead person who would prolly be stuck at the afterlife customs.Finally,C:It wasn't LV,Gucci or Prada >:(


At the NPC,the police guy was rather nice lah.Never action bedeh try to show off police rank or whatnot.He was recounting his "younger days" with us."I tell you all ah,no need scared go home no bus after 12 lah.Walk home quite fun what.(Me thinking to myself:That's cause you liked getting ass raped by a drunken stranger sir.)That time ah,we all drive to Yishun see whether people making love in the car."I can totally understand how lucky us youngsters are.Now got internet,can download porn.Last time don't have so...go Yishun lor.If lucky,can see car rocking with couple inside.If unlucky,see bapok screwing each other on park bench.Dear policeman I will try and burn some for you and drop it off at your workplace so that you and your uppers can watch "Naughty Nurses and Beautiful Bondage Babes 4:Hardcore Gold Edition."The second thing was:"Aiyah I tell you all ah,last time ah,we all go Geylang ah.Not illegal mah last time."Us:"Sir we blanja you next time lah,steady bo?""Aiyah now ilegal liao lah,want go must go Bali mah.."(We think what the fuck.)"Sir Bali all maid you want fuck ah?""Aiyah got paper bag can liao lah..."Okay.I think next time I also be policeman.Keep the prostitutes off the street-by hiring them 24/7 ^^


Bah.I'm going off now.And remember kids,if your parents d/c your internet,there's always YISHUN :D <3,Jonan./Twiggy.


P.S Dear blog critics,although I may not update that often or I may not be very funny,the stuff I post is better than the crap you post on your blog such as what you ate.If you like that kind of stuff I can describe the palette of colours my faeces has.I can include pictures too!Other that,stay cool and don't burst a vessel trying to suck your own cock ^^


P.P.S Cassie get well soon so you don't keep attracting male bullfrogs.