Salutations.
My name's Jonan,
I'm an 18 year old with the lungs and liver of a 70 year old.
If by any unfortunate(for you) chance,
you get to know me more intimately,
you will find that I:
am quite the cynical little shit
am rather lazy,that's what everyone tells me anyway.
prefer night so much more over the day that I've made a few owl friends.
experiment with the stupidest things possible and still think I am reasonably intelligent.
have an ectoplasmic look during classes.
change brands of cigarettes as much as a girl changes clothes.
am an asshole in my own right,if you know what's good for you,you won't get close.
have an email address;jonan_yip@hotmail.com.

Misery loves company which is why I'm never alone. Don't say I didn't warn ya.

Hello again.I haven't posted in a week or two so I'm here to update and empty my scathing sarcasm.I don't try to do it.I'm just annoying.Persistently annoying.To give you an idea on things,I have to go back to CCA until April.Go on,go ahead.Laugh.

I'll climb inside your room tonight with a parang and make sure you spend the rest of your life on IV fluid.

Well,with that unpleasant business out of the way,let's move on to current affairs.

I've just read in the HOME section of the Straits Times that airlines are going to place liquid curbs.It means that liquids such as perfume,aerosols,gels,etc. will need to undergo screening or limits.If Singapore decides to introduce restrictions(adding to the insurmountable number of bans/restrictions/fines already in place :)),it will affect ALL passengers to restrict the amount of liquids they can bring aboard the plane.

"Sir,I'm sorry.You can't board the flight.We've detected more than 30ml of liquid in your bladder."

The restriction was introduced cause of several smart-ass terrorists trying to cook up a chemical explosion using liquids and chemicals in innocent looking packages.Possibly,the easiest way to pass the ingredients to each other was via the toilet.

They should do away with airline toilets.Passengers can just use the side windows.At their own risk,of course.Either grin and bear it,or risk getting your privates sucked out by the vacuum.

And I wonder how the terrorists would do it.

T1 to T2:"Hey,pee in the cup and pass it to me.Quick!We're gonna blow up ourselves and take this plane with us.We'll be made martyrs and everyone will like,worship us as saints."

The Devil:"That one gets them everytime."
Osama:"STFU.You told me I would live to an old age and die happily."
Devil:"Yeah that's what I told Hitler,Stalin and Saddam too."

In the plane cubicle,T2:"Alright,here it is.But it better be fucking worth it.That bloody kid behind was laughing his head off after looking at my weener and I heard something about a little pickle."T1:"Well,it does look like one after that accident with the neighbour's dog..."T2:"You bitch!"*pulls T1's hair."Ow!That's too hard!AH!AH!"Passenger waiting outside for toilet hears two manly voices bellowing in the toilet,shoots a disgusted glance at the shaking door and walks off.

"Alright,according to the blueprints here,it's supposed to combust with ammonia gas."
T1 looks at T2.
"What?"
"It means you gotta fart."
T2 shoots an outraged look at T1.
"Why should it be ME again?It was MY PEE.So it should be YOUR GAS."
"Martyrs remember?"
"Screw you."

T1 manages to convince T2 to stuff himself with onions.

"Okay,here goes,it's gonna be a big one."
"For the holy war and martyrdom!"
"Toot."
"What?That's it?Did you mix the chemicals according to the fucking blueprints?"

"Oh shit.I think that's my mom's cookbook."

T1 was last seen somewhere in the South Pacific ocean.

Well,there's never a good terrorist.

Anyway,I'm off to kill more brain cells on the telly.

And remember to pee before you try to get though customs.
For all you know,they might just charge you for it.

Cheers mates,Jonan.