Salutations.
My name's Jonan,
I'm an 18 year old with the lungs and liver of a 70 year old.
If by any unfortunate(for you) chance,
you get to know me more intimately,
you will find that I:
am quite the cynical little shit
am rather lazy,that's what everyone tells me anyway.
prefer night so much more over the day that I've made a few owl friends.
experiment with the stupidest things possible and still think I am reasonably intelligent.
have an ectoplasmic look during classes.
change brands of cigarettes as much as a girl changes clothes.
am an asshole in my own right,if you know what's good for you,you won't get close.
have an email address;jonan_yip@hotmail.com.

Misery loves company which is why I'm never alone. Don't say I didn't warn ya.

I'm down with the flu.Everyone is still at school haha.It's Valentine's Day.I damn suay.But anyway,me and my mates ain't got no Valentines so we're gonna spend the day playing lan like the losers we are.

That is if,I can go out in my condition.

I think I will go to the Lonely Hearts club instead knn.

Anw,wishing you people a happy Valentine's day and may you not end up playing LAN on such a glorious sunny afternoon such as today.

If I see you at the same LAN shop as me I suppose you're a loser as well haha.

Cheers mates,A very sick but not dead Jonan.



Hello readers.I'm quite sick right now so excuse me if my grammer,punctuation or spelling is abit kooky.Please excuse me also if I fail to insult someone today.(I won't.)Firstly,my birthday is past two days already.Do you people understand how lucky you are?You are watching the prodigy of the century's rise to manhood.I think I shall keep a goatee.

Nobody laughs at someone with facial hair(in the right places).Well,maybe except Mr Mahathir.

Alright,before I delve deeper into this topic and start harping on hair on other parts of the human anatomy,I shall change the topic to something healthier.

Like the mental state of some hong kongers.

Two cases involving hong kong women happened very recently.

The first case,was the one concerning the OSIM iSqueeze foot massager.

Well,it turns out that this woman is sueing the Osim company for the foot massager clamping on her feet and causing her anguish and injury.Osim should sue her back for grievious stupidity.How can anyone get their feet stuck in a bloody foot massager.Do you think they make these things to fucking trap bears or something?Maybe she was massaging her feet at a NO PARKING zone.According to the statement by her in the news,the power suddenly cut off.She could have A:forgotten to pay her electricity bill,B:Hit the power switch by accident or C:jammed the massager with her elephantine feet.Damn,they should make these things in XL.

Not long after,another case was featured in today's paper.A hongkonger suspected her boyfriend of having an affair.He threatened to break up with her when confronted.She tried to commit suicide by jumping out of the window and ended up getting tangled in the phone cables.Talk about being a failure in life.Getting tangled in the cable lines and having to get rescued by the civil services HAHA.

I pity her boyfriend.Getting accused of infidelity and everyone in hongkong now knows he has a stupid woman.Maybe he could cover it up by saying his girlfriend enjoys "alternative" entertainment.

Back to the woman,while she was suspended from the cables,she continuously yelled "Don't save me!Don't save me!".Yeah,no one wants to fucking do that but it'd be bad for the tourism business if they had a rotting carcass hanging from their telephone lines.And nobody like eavesdroppers anyway.

Tourists:"Hong Kong's a lovely place.Look they even have a monument to war heroes!"
*Points at corpse
"Quick!Must take pictures to show the neighbours!They'll be ever so jealous!Eh you hold the camera ah I want to go pose like the statue.Help me take picture..."

One week later.

More tourists:"Eh Hong Kong is so beautiful.Look they have two statues to commemorate war heroes."
*Points at TWO corpses.
"Eh help me take picture,I want to go pose beside the two statues..."

See what I mean about it being bad for the tourist trade?

Brings a whole new meaning to the term "tourist trap".

Well,if they still failed to remove her,the neighbours could always use her limbs for hanging clothes.

Anyway,my nose is leaking like a peeing horse now.I'd better go before my parents throw me out to the telephone lines.

Have a good one mates,Jonan.