Salutations.
My name's Jonan,
I'm an 18 year old with the lungs and liver of a 70 year old.
If by any unfortunate(for you) chance,
you get to know me more intimately,
you will find that I:
am quite the cynical little shit
am rather lazy,that's what everyone tells me anyway.
prefer night so much more over the day that I've made a few owl friends.
experiment with the stupidest things possible and still think I am reasonably intelligent.
have an ectoplasmic look during classes.
change brands of cigarettes as much as a girl changes clothes.
am an asshole in my own right,if you know what's good for you,you won't get close.
have an email address;jonan_yip@hotmail.com.

Misery loves company which is why I'm never alone. Don't say I didn't warn ya.

Alright.Most of you who get on msn regularly(and jack off to my pic)should know that I have been currently S-T-R-I-P-P-E-D of my phone.Now,don't panic i.e:"OMFG!How am I gonna tell Jonan I want to buy his used underwear/Argh I can't call to express my overflowing admiration for his brilliance etc.I have a spare number.To tell the truth,I have another line for fan mail and (hot)girls to contact me.It seems that I'm supposed to be Ukrainian royalty.

Okay fuck it I bought prepaid lol.

With a phone loaned from one of my fellows(Kiong),you can now contact me.To buy my used underwear and/or express etc.The only problem is that a few keys are jammed and hard to press which leads to me swearing more than I should in a day.And I uh,kind of forgot my number so I have to dig around for the sticker.

Alright now with that out of the way,let's venture on to how I got my phone raped off me.

Hafiz(informed by mr low):eh guys how bout dnt tmr?meet at underground at 9.

-----------NEXT MORNING/11am-----------

Me:"Wtf is hafiz?It's eleven fucking oclock and he's still not here"

Fiq:"And I heard there's no dnt."

Hafiz on the phone:"Eh so got no dnt ah?Ok then I don't come down I go sleep.Thanks ah bye."

Me and fiq:"Fuck mr low la."

Ben:"Ya la fuck mr low la."

All:"Shuttup la Ben you also say got dnt right."

So.When you wake up at 9 in the morning to go for a class and you find out there's no class what do you do?

Lepaaaak of course.

We sat around until 3 when we all started having RO withdrawal symptoms.

"Eh I need to go level my character."

"Stay awhile first leh...Wtf why are you shivering?"

So I got home and were met by my parents.Who insisted that I told them there was dnt to go out at 9 in the morning when I slept at 4 last night and make myself think that I'm on heroin because there's no fucking way my eyelids can feel this heavy without being under the influence of something strong and harmful.And they continued by saying that I smell of ciggarettes when I clearly smell of Calbee Hot and Spicy wth.So with these two reasons they removed my mobile off my persons.

Effective?Yes.

Unfair?Uh huh.

Logical?No fucking way.

On top of that when the arguing got heated(me valiantly defending all that is right and just),my father brought in his pride and joy:Iron 7 club."Jonan,I am fully prepared to take responsibility for this."Yeah sure that's fine and dandy but how's Mom gonna get the bloodstains off the bedsheets?So thinking for my mother,I backed away and told him that he didn't want to practice putting with my head(Actually ah,mom never tell you that my head has this funny lump on it that makes it not very aerodynamic).Anyway,who wants to fight an angry guy with a golf club?

Not me man.I'm still a virgin.

Over and bloody out,Jonan.