Salutations.
My name's Jonan,
I'm an 18 year old with the lungs and liver of a 70 year old.
If by any unfortunate(for you) chance,
you get to know me more intimately,
you will find that I:
am quite the cynical little shit
am rather lazy,that's what everyone tells me anyway.
prefer night so much more over the day that I've made a few owl friends.
experiment with the stupidest things possible and still think I am reasonably intelligent.
have an ectoplasmic look during classes.
change brands of cigarettes as much as a girl changes clothes.
am an asshole in my own right,if you know what's good for you,you won't get close.
have an email address;jonan_yip@hotmail.com.

Misery loves company which is why I'm never alone. Don't say I didn't warn ya.

The past week has been one huge blast.Riding on the waves of alcohol,trance and RnB music towards my 18th birthday.I think my liver is cussing me like a sailor now.

Started it off on wednesday(not counting the weekdays on which I have a nice,cold beer with Alvin my drinking kaki at the TP coffeeshop.),went to Phuture together with Alvin,Natalie and Ruben to face up against Vincent's,Alvin's and Douglas' threats to kill me with drinks.

I survived after downing 2 graveyards(you should have seen the look on some random girl's face when I was chugging them),a flaming lamborghini,5 apple shooters and an additional 5 tequila shots.

Headed down to the dancefloor in a tipsy daze with buzzing in my ears(no,not the nagging of my parents lol)and started to work my shit.

I think some people thought I was having spasms or an orgasm on the dancefloor.

Bopping my head along with the rest of the gang's to the tunes of spun by Andrew Chow when the milk in the flaming lamborghini decided to rebel against my stomach.

I think I hold the world record for making the most people yell "cheebye" in the shortest span of time.

Vincent's arm turned brown and so did some of the other guys' shoes.

Happy days :D

Managed to meet back up with Alvin,Natalie and Afiq who came midway.

Afiq's lightbulb dance is a sight to behold,Broadway theatre,Step Up and Chippendale's all rolled in one.

Danced with some ang moh guy with a couple of girls after he grabbed me out of nowhere and started to jump.

I only hope that's not how they hump in the West.

Trouble on the dancefloor,some drunk asshole tried to cap me in the knee with a Chivas bottle,I reacted and it hit my toe instead.I can assure you,whiskey has never felt so painful.

Grabbed something off the counter and tested the old equation:shot glass versus head

Shot glass won and the idiot stumbled off in a bleeding daze.(And with me giving myself a satisfied smile before blending into the crowd)

Fast forward to Friday,I opened a dua pao(cannon)of Martell:$1058.

Of course with some help from the rest who chipped in.

Night went fast and furious with my friends and brothers from all different walks of life coming in to celebrate with me.Shoutout goes to all my brothers,esp my secondary school group who's always had my back when I was up against the wall(and sometimes when it was against the hard cement floor)and my current TP mates.

Event of the day:Max watching the pole dancer in a mesmerized trance,Ruben goes up behind him and gives the dancer a nice,hard slap on the ass.

Max receives a slap on his cheek in return.

"SIMI LANJIAO!!!!" and the pub bursts into voracious laughter.

Ended up going home in a taxi after in a toilet cubicle for 2 hours,thanks Max,Mike and Jingyuan for not letting me get buttraped by some horny short-sighted old man.

Wouldn't like to wake up with a bloodstain on my pants.

Lots more to tell but my fingers are getting tired(from typing but not with girls if you catch my drift ;D ha just jk).

Peace out ya'll,Jonan.