Salutations.
My name's Jonan,
I'm an 18 year old with the lungs and liver of a 70 year old.
If by any unfortunate(for you) chance,
you get to know me more intimately,
you will find that I:
am quite the cynical little shit
am rather lazy,that's what everyone tells me anyway.
prefer night so much more over the day that I've made a few owl friends.
experiment with the stupidest things possible and still think I am reasonably intelligent.
have an ectoplasmic look during classes.
change brands of cigarettes as much as a girl changes clothes.
am an asshole in my own right,if you know what's good for you,you won't get close.
have an email address;jonan_yip@hotmail.com.

Misery loves company which is why I'm never alone. Don't say I didn't warn ya.

I'm seeing the effects of my callousness upon others leading me into doing some zen-buddha contemplation ching-chong shit.

Teenage greed is rampant.

Ever felt like you tried to be the straight man,but you just couldn't fight your impulses?Not by choice,I've been made into some sort of a strange anti-hero.

Sense?

Sense is nothing.

But I don't mind if you don't mind,well I don't shine if you don't shine.




"Ow",said my neck this morning,"It hurts when you stay up awake all night till 8.37 am in the morning every day Jonan."

Bear with it asshole,you know the eyes and the brain don't want to sleep yet and I've to put up with it too so quit complaining,I think back to my neck.

"Fuck you." grumbled my neck before went back to sleep in a huff.

This is why I think I'm not normal.(ABSOLUTELY! shout my parents in the background)

So, basically my life has been stuck on a cycle of eat,sleep,train,drink for the past few days.I need something deeper(like a girlfriend hinthint omgplzgimmeanicecuteprettyonewtfbbq*ahem)to fill the void within me.

And yes I know I just made myself sound like a doughnut.

Also recently,I've been getting more annoyed than per normal which already is,pretty frequent.I hate how certain people are getting along so well in life while I am being a stuck jealous whiny little bitch in my room.And my tooth hurts after eating some bread which was obviously baked with glass shards and in a concrete mixer by my beloved mother.

Oh yes,and *they* are banning tobacco products with the words "Mild","Light",etc. Apparently,we teenagers are intellectually crippled enough to think that cigarettes with these words on the packaging are healthier to consume.

That's like saying we'd drink a little turpentine just because it says "Lethal if consumed in large amounts."

Idiot(smokes a half a pack of reds a day):"Ey,I want to be healthier but I cannot quit smoking,how ah bro?"

Shop Uncle:"Ah boy ah,you see this cigarette ah,the name call Mile(Mild)7,then the packet kaler(color)blue blue colour one,less damaging to your health la boy."

Idiot:"Wah uncle, you sure or not?Later my mother beat me again sia,I now use crutches already very difficult eh."

Shop Uncle(thinks to himself,wah cheebye I think your mother kill you before you even get the chance to tio lung cancer sia):"Can one la boy,you see this Mile 7 cigarette ah,the filter so blardy long,the tar must take car to reach your lung ah!You know why this cigarette call Mile 7 or not?"

Idiot:"Um,why ah uncle?"

Shop Uncle:"Because can smoke like fuck la!"

Idiot:"Wah uncle come I jitao buy one carton!"

Shop Uncle:"Ah okay boy,thank velly mush for your bizness ah,support uncle abit ah.You see the packet kaler ah,also good.When you play the computers then your eye pain pain ah,you take out your cigalette then you stare at the packet.The brue brue kaler very good for the eye,uncle everyday confirm stare at the Mile 7 packet one.Then ah,you see the packet also made of recycled paper ah even good for enviroment..."

*HOME*

Idiot:"MA!Come see,I buy this cigarette now I can smoke like free!Uncle say the tar need to take car to enter my lungs sia!They also got no Esso the car cannot move hahaha!I use my pocket money buy one carton see mummy!"

Mother:"WAH CHAO CHEE BYE!"

Yeah we're all like that.

Thanks for the faith and trust in us young ones PAP.

I think I'll go take my tablespoon of turpentine now,Jonan.

By the way,I am a smoker myself and I do fully understand the health hazards(and am feeling some of them now already)of smoking as do most smokers too.

However,I'd like to freedom of choice to fuck up my body as and when I like so I'd prefer the taxes,bans and whatever to go the fuck away thank you very much.

And yes,I know Mild 7 isn't healthier just because it has the word "Mild" in it,thanks for wondering.



If only you'd just be mine and I would stop all of this shit totally,absolutely,spontaneously and whatever else shit you could name.

I'm so fucking high now that I'm speaking from the heart.

I never wanted to walk this road of life,it's just that my being was drawn to it(coupled by a few unpleasant experiences)until I started enjoying receiving and dishing out the pain.Sure,being with the guys is fun and I would give anything up for any of them if they were in trouble but at the end of the day,guess what?

I'm still alone.

Not in the sense of brotherhood,I've had plenty of that,but it's in the area of emotional exchange from another person.

And no,I do not dig guys so if any of you are thinking what I am assuming you are,kindly fuck off sayanora.(Wow,I can speak Japanese too.)

On a lighter note,life has been pretty much the same for me except that I miss certain people a whole lot more.(Shoutouts go to Jieying,Wong,Peiying,Yuting,Vincent,Ben Lu,Ben Ee,Leonard and the list goes on an on just like the wheels on the bus.)

Max not really cause I meet the asshole on a regular basis.

I think I'm experiencing several personal issues in my life(god this so sounds like an advert for alcoholics anonymous)such as bouts of self loathing,bloodlust and a disregard for the moral standards I've set for myself.

Jumping to current affairs,the government is tightening it's noose on us smokers,raising fines and increasing the number of spotchecks.All we can do is just roll with the punches and fight back in our own little ways(support your local malaysian/indonesian cigarette dealer!).

Times are changing,I may be a fucking bastard and I admit that.

But one thing that won't ever evolve,morph or transmogrify(to use a Harry Potter word)is the fact that we suit each other like um,peas in a pod?

Twins in a womb?

Er,Moonlight to a werewolf?(Failed metaphor)

All I know is that we belong with each other.

But the way I am,it's time to face the truth.

I will never be with you.

Yes kinda corny/cheesy(whichever you prefer)I know.

But that's just the way I feel.

By the way,I've noticed that I've used the word 'but' quite a number of times.

What-thefuck-ever,Jonan out.