Salutations.
My name's Jonan,
I'm an 18 year old with the lungs and liver of a 70 year old.
If by any unfortunate(for you) chance,
you get to know me more intimately,
you will find that I:
am quite the cynical little shit
am rather lazy,that's what everyone tells me anyway.
prefer night so much more over the day that I've made a few owl friends.
experiment with the stupidest things possible and still think I am reasonably intelligent.
have an ectoplasmic look during classes.
change brands of cigarettes as much as a girl changes clothes.
am an asshole in my own right,if you know what's good for you,you won't get close.
have an email address;jonan_yip@hotmail.com.

Misery loves company which is why I'm never alone. Don't say I didn't warn ya.

Jonan to Houston:We are cleared for landing.

Yeah it's me again. Annoyed? Probably.

School's been pretty rough on me with projects and shit( and don't give me any "oh, why didn't you start earliers?"for those who know me)but things are looking up with a 2 week "study" break. Well it's the Seventh Month again and speaking of which, the burning of notes has started up again and is really pissing the hell out of me.

Irony yes?(I'm a smoker)

They should burn banks and atms for them or something.

And while we're on the topic of ghosts, the netherworld and shit like that, I'd like to make one thing clear:

You can talk to ghosts.

Well, at least you can think you do. I know I do that for kicks when I'm drunk or bored at the poolside. BUT, they never ever answer back. Nope, not in your dreams, neither are they audible in reality. Well in your imagination (albeit a fucked-up one) perhaps.

It is even more bizarre when someone supposedly speaks to a deceased loved one of yours. Especially if he/she hasn't even met the person. That's just plain freaky, and I'd knee the person in the nuts(if they had them) if anyone told me that.

Firstly:It dictates a lack of respect for the mystical threshold that seperates the living and the dead and for the deceased himself/herself.

Secondly:Look, it's weird man. That's NOT cool. 'Specially if it's about your mom or something.

Thirdly:I'd (and so would any sane person) think you were suckin' fuckin' thundercuntin' NUTS.

So (pretending) to talk to dead people is not cool.

We do not hold tea-parties and fucking luncheons with spirits like in the 6th Sense or Ghost Whisperer. Sure, certain people may see the odd thing now and then and I am very much a believer(with sufficable evidence) in the paranormal.

What?You think a conversation with a ghost goes like this?

Me:Hi ghost.

Ghost:Hi you lucky,living sonofabitch.

Me:There's no need to be offensive.

Ghost:Yeah,try being in my position with smoke and ash constantly billowing in your face during the Seventh Month you cum-swallowing diseased pair of ferret's testicles.

Me:Chill it bro.How's it like over there man?

Ghost:Well,it's pretty much hot.And it gets hotter everyday.

Me:Wow,that must suck pretty bad dude.

Ghost:You have no fuckin' idea.

*floats away*

Get what I mean?(No offense to folks who commerate the Seventh Month btw)

In my humblest opinions, a ghost to me is the subtle kiss of a loved one(deceased) on your cheek which you thought was the wind.

The prickling of gooseflesh on the back of your neck when you're at places you shouldn't be.

Just the slightest smudge of a shadow in the corner of your vision when you turn around too quickly.

Perhaps all of these things are,and perhaps they're not.

But you do not have table talk with ghosts.

Bottomline is, people who claim to speak to ghosts are probably loonies who spend their time camping in cemetaries trying to cajole 4D numbers out of rotting corpses or con-artists who are probably out to cheat your sentiments and a good healthy load of cash out of your pockets.

Comprehende?

Over and fuckin' out,Jonan.

Remember to sign up for my "Dining with the Dead" and "Pretending to be Paranormal" workshops if you really wanna try to hold a decent conversation with a ghost,zombie,vampire,whatever.