you look gay.not happy gay,fag gay.

dreary night

2010-03-02T04:51:00.002+08:00

Bun came over just now, it was nice to see you again heh. The motherfucker has started his drilling upstairs again and I am beginning to wonder whether he is trying to carve out a cave in his wall or doing an advertisment for Black & Decker.

You might never hear me say this again but in 10 years time I want you to give birth to my children while you scream and cry in utter pain while I look on, clutching the video cam in cold sweat and wishing I had never come into the delivery chamber at all.

Ho hum.

Oh yeah, I'll soon join as one of the souless, faceless conscripts of the SAF on March 6th, my life sucks. Who wants to buy my hair as extensions, I sell cheaper than the shop in Golden Mile.

Okay I'm pretty tired now.

If I was walking through a sad art gallery
And you were driving through the night
I'd feel rather alone and ill at ease
Beneath the brilliant showroom light
If I was flying on a plane above your town
And you were gazing at the sky
Somehow I'd feel intact and reassured
If you began to wave goodbye

BUNNERZ-It will work!

Note to self: Do not hide your condoms in your jacket pocket.

tumbling into tumblr

2009-12-02T09:01:00.002+08:00

Hi people, I have a tumblr now. Yes, I am part of the "IN" crowd thanks to Chloe so Fiq and Weikiong you can stop laughing at my ineptness with tumblr now.

Tumble into my tumblr at verbalviolence.tumblr.com

Miserable at Best.

2009-11-30T06:13:00.003+08:00

Food for thought:It's funny how people seem normal on the surface but yet they seem drawn to the darker side of their nature. Have you ever seen something so horrifying, you feel disgusted but yet you feel a strange fascination that disables you to look away?

There's a beast lurking in all of us. It just depends on whether we feel like unlocking the cage.

Or that's how I felt before she changed my life.

I know that I've been disappointment after disappointment, I know you might think that I'm just a load of mediocre bullshit and I admit that gladly.

But mediocre bullshit that I am, I'd rise up and push myself further for you even if it kills me.

I'm willing to throw away everything I have for you. I feel honest and at peace when we're together.

"Time together is just never quite enough, when we're apart whatever are you thinking of?"

I'd tear myself apart if it just made you the slightest bit happy, Chloe Tai.

Over and fucking out, Jonan.

I can't sleep without feeling your breath on my neck and the scent of your hair.

ordinary

2009-11-24T03:36:00.003+08:00

A little devil sits on my left shoulder and whispers: "I know that sometimes, you really wish you were special."

The angel on my right is silent.

I think he went for a smoke.

2009-11-24T01:41:00.002+08:00

I don't deserve kindness nor trust nor love.

I don't know how to be a good person no matter how hard I might try.

But I will be your (fallen) guardian angel, watch dog and take the pain, blood and hurt upon myself.

To my grave.

sweet dreams are made of these

2009-11-23T02:55:00.004+08:00

Sometimes I wondered to myself, the moon and the stars,
Whether I was trying to obtain the unattainable,
Just like a dog chasing cars.

I first saw that girl in the dark, with an ice-cold, unfriendly face,
She wasn't talking to anyone, just crying,
So I thought, goddamn, what a waste.

Through a stroke of inexplicable luck and a brother's lack of subtlety,
To my astonishment and great surprise,
She was being directed to me.

For some absurd reason, in me she placed some trust.
I made a promise to myself,
Never to betray her to anyone, even till the iron in my blood turned to rust.

She completely won me over with her wit, beauty and charm,
Especially the allure of her captivating eyes,
The rate they drew me in, I should have been alarmed.

I would feud with God himself, if it was your soul he'd come to reap,
Not let any harm befall you,
And guard your dreams throughout the night, even as you sleep.

So you have no reason to be afraid, I will be the shadow behind your back,
I'll take the lift with you to the 5th floor,
If it's courage that you lack.

You burn inside my head, together with my dreams of gods and dark desires,
And if you think I'd ever desert you,
Then Shakespeare was a liar.

K this is for Chloe Tai, who despises cheese.

Unfortunately the above is full of it and it's quite crappy but fuck I'll do a better one next time when I've got the inspiration.

Bengs have skillz too k.

Don't kill me when you see me tmr k <3

lulz

2009-11-21T17:03:00.000+08:00

alvin says:
run for hope
god's in his heaven. says:
YOU BUILDING THE ROAD AH
alvin says:
i go jogging
god's in his heaven. says:
DUN GO LA
RUN FOR WHAT HOPE
WE CLUB FOR HOPE
alvin says:
who going?
god's in his heaven. says:
YOU ALSO NO HOPE RUN FOR WHAT
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
SKILLET says:
lol
LOL
ei ur blog fucking act cute
knn tmr cf i beat u till u die
god's in his heaven. says:
whart
whart
SKILLET says:
knn the stick MAN
god's in his heaven. says:
no happy ah
LOL
SKILLET says:
FUCKING DULAN
WAH CHEEBYE FUCKING DULAN WITH UR STICKMAN
god's in his heaven. says:
LOL FUCK ALOT OF GIRL LIKE MY BLOGSKIN
LOL
SKILLET says:
FUCKING ACT CUTE
TMR U FUCKING DIE SIA
KNN
I CLICK ON THE LINK
I SEE THE STICKMAN WILL MOVE I JITAO EXIT
god's in his heaven. says:
LOL
OMFG
SKILLET says:
DOESNT SUIT U LA
really fucking act cute knn

With friends like these, who needs enemies HAHA?

IMY.

2009-11-21T07:23:00.002+08:00

I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT, I MISS YOU, I MISS YOU SO.

Eh I feel really fucking tired manzzz, I think the fatigue is taking it's toll on me.

I might be falling too deep into the abyss to stop sigh.

MEH

2009-11-16T15:38:00.002+08:00

Sometimes the things people say really cut to the bone. They stick their cruel, little barbs inside of your head and worm their way down to your stomach. Then the sick, nauseating feeling begins and the Devil leans across the table to whisper insidious, belittling caresses into your ear. You block it out and to your surprise it works! But only for a moment, you get a feeling like how it's supposed to hurt but it doesn't, like a paralyzed man touching a hot stove.

Finally, the lump in your chest(NOT THAT LUMP LA) moves up to become the lump in your throat and it escapes your throat perhaps as a whisper, a stifled cry or even just the gnashing of your teeth as knuckle hits concrete.

After that, your mom walks in and slaps you over the head to be quiet and stop being a pussy idiot.

Yeah, basically what words can do to someone in a nutshell, just 26 letters arranged and rearranged to dazzle,delight and belittle your soul.

Chew on this like gum people.

So don't let anyone scare you, you'll know that I'll protect you always; Through the thick and thin, until the end.

fuck

2009-11-14T04:10:00.004+08:00

I wonder why sometimes I loathe myself so much.

Inexplicable feeling, I need to pop down some prozac.

I can't relax or even oversleep.

I think I'm quite an idiot.

And I wonder all my sentences start with an 'I'.

Must be really drunk/high.

On the other hand, if you irk me one more time, I might just try to destroy you on the inside and the outside. I'll do it subtly, you wouldn't even know what was happening. People who fuck with my friends or loved ones get fucked right back.

After all, it takes a thief to catch one.

Into the Dark.

2009-11-13T02:38:00.002+08:00

From every source of light, there will be a shadow cast.

If only for you to embrace the light, I will walk the shadowed path.

This is the only way.

And I will make you smile, no matter WHAT.

Someone please ask me if I want to perform in some HK drama okay? :D

drips through my veins

2009-11-12T03:03:00.003+08:00

I understand what being numb means now.

Annoying how this always happens so suddenly, but it follows with a wave of relief, like the exaltation of a mainline junkie when the morphine hits.

It's like someone has shut down the power to my heart.

And I can't turn it back on.

But it feels good! :D

K I sound like C3PO from Star Warz brrrr.

stagnant

2009-11-12T00:58:00.003+08:00

This is not a movie, things just ain't the same as my favourite video.

I went through a million choices, I listened to a million voices and they said,

Don't let me down, they said, don't let me down again.

But I'm just a countdown to the disappointment, I'm yours tonight.

Still, next to you's a very nice place to go.

AND HOW DO I STOP TYPING IN ITALICS KNNCCB LOL.

dream of murder

2009-11-11T13:50:00.002+08:00

Sometimes a strong heart and a willingness to die to protect just isn't enough.

the valley of the shadow of death

2009-11-11T01:03:00.004+08:00

I'm not supposed to be afraid. All my life, I've grown up with an instinct to mask my fear or to even banish it completely. I won't lie now that I'm not.

I'm tired and afraid.

This has been the scariest rollercoaster I've been on and it's twists and turns never seem to end even just when you thought that it was smooth sailing for the moment. On the other hand, it's been the most exhilarating ride I've been on and has never failed to leave me breathless.

I have learnt however, that my value ain't worth shit.(Some of you assholes shouldn't further confirm this HAHA.) Cause guys like me are a dime a dozen and we're a touch, overrated.

The shadowed path tempts me back with it's fast-living allure but I am using every cell in my body to resist it.

I feel cold. Not to mention, stupid.(which seems to happen alot)

And it's not because of the air-conditioning either.

"Though I walk in the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me and cause I've been there and fucking back!"- Psalms 23:4 (amended version)

WTF PETER

2009-11-09T01:48:00.002+08:00

SEX GOD YAHHH says:
jonan remember
i am non-existent
all these dreary rain clouds still bother me. says:
OK
you are a stealth fighter
SEX GOD YAHHH says:
just another fucking good pool player
thats all
keep it low
all these dreary rain clouds still bother me says:
FUCKING ACTION

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SEX GOD YAHHH says:
i had to clean my nipple hair
all these dreary rain clouds still bother me. says:
dude
you should seriously
shave
SEX GOD YAHHH says:
yes i cut
all these dreary rain clouds still bother me. says:
your fucking
SEX GOD YAHHH says:
i know
all these dreary rain clouds still bother me. says:
nipple hair
SEX GOD YAHHH says:
i cut
hahaha
i cut
all these dreary rain clouds still bother me. says:
it's damn long
SEX GOD YAHHH says:
i just try not too
IMAGINE
all these dreary rain clouds still bother me. says:
can tie ribbon in the middle of your chest
SEX GOD YAHHH says:
I CONTINUE CUTTING
40 YEARS OLD
WTF WILL BECOME OF MY NIPPLES
all these dreary rain clouds still bother me. says:
LOL
SEX GOD YAHHH says:
HIDDEN
all these dreary rain clouds still bother me. says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAH
OMFG
EPIC
SEX GOD YAHHH says:
CROUCHING PENIS HIDDEN NIPPLE

PETER YOU NEVER FAIL TO AMAZE.

sigh

2009-11-08T03:02:00.000+08:00

I wonder, is it because I'm just a convenient outlet?

Maybe so, but I'd take it anyway.

american psycho

2009-11-07T10:26:00.002+08:00

You know, sometimes I feel like a fool.

People worry about me, I may sound like a screwed up person but I'm thankful that there actually ARE people who look out for me.

I am trying terribly hard to reform my ways but sometimes I feel like just going into an eternal rest and ending this daily mental torture.

I AM NOT AN EMO KID BTW TYVMUCH.

Well, they say a leopard can never change it's spots but I'd fucking bleach my fur coat for you HAHA.

Nobody will ever use me as a human doormat but I'd let you use my pride to cross over the muddy road.

Don't understand a fucking thing?

I thought so.

P.S I feel like shit so people please don't give me shit until I've had some sleep lulz ty.

Frankly, my dear

2009-11-05T05:21:00.003+08:00

Back from St. James, DJ was okay, drinks were guuuud shitzxzxz.

It's seems like eons since I clubbed.

Aside from that, I feel like I'm on a cloud. It's still hard to believe that a guy like me would even hold a candle to the numerous other opportunities out there for you. I'm in love with your sharp intellect, cat-like playfullness(:D), your beauty and your exquisite purity of character. K I sound pretty love-struck right now.

I know you may have your faults and I have mine(much more so than you), but I really would love to make things work. I know I can't hesistate anymore, cause Jason Mraz told me.

Sometimes I wrestle with feelings of incapability and self-doubt. You always seems to fly so far even when you are the closest to me. But I'll never regret knowing you and the light you've shed upon my (sometimes bitter) life.

K laugh all you want, but I'm no longer the caustic, acid-spitting, vicious and cynical person you people have known me to be :D You've made me think of reconsidering my priorities and getting ahead with my life.

Because I said, I've gotta be honest, I've been waiting for you, all my life.

For so long I thought, I was asylum-bound but just seeing you, makes me think twice.

And being with you here, makes me sane I fear, I'll go crazy if you leave my side.

I may just be a passing phase to you, but even if you brush me away, I will be your black box and carry your fears locked within me till I am laid to rest.

And I am not using bold letters because I wanna drama, but because I don't know how to turn it off knn.

FRIDAY CHIONG POWERHOUSE AGAIN AI MAI HAHA.

cb la

2009-11-02T13:04:00.002+08:00

Dear God, can I ask you a question?

Is it because we do wicked deeds, that misfortune descends upon us?

Confused

2009-11-01T23:11:00.003+08:00

No, like seriously, where do we go now?

I don't get myself anymore.

This shit a dream or what?

Dudddeeee, where's my car?

Cause I'm tired of walking on the edge and I'll reach the precipice pretty soon.

I'd rather get savaged and beaten till every fiber of my body hurt again than someone play havoc with my heart.

I don't wanna

2009-11-01T05:48:00.003+08:00

I don't want to spend everyday with trepidition and anxiety in my being.

I don't want to spend everyday wondering if I will ever be able to keep up.

I don't want to feel my mind unweaving every conscious second.

What I do want to do, is breathe in every moment.

I want to spend everyday watching the sunlight dance in your eyes and the moonlight accentuating your hair.

I want to wake up every morning feeling your breath on my neck and your heartbeat against mine.

OK LA DRAMA LA I KNOW. I have to stop this shit or people will start thinking I'm a fag.

SNAP

2009-10-31T11:25:00.002+08:00

It's hard to believe that it happened.

Something that I only fantasised about in daydreams and depths of my imagination.

It's nothing dirty alright.

Only time will tell but still I am awed and lost in wonderment.

Can't understand at all, well I'd better not push my luck ha.

Screamager

2009-10-30T05:35:00.003+08:00

Fuck this, I don't wanna think about anything anymore.

It's funny how I feel numb, probably waiting for it to sink in.

And btw don't worry, I'm not suicidal just a little miffed I suppose.

And I feel like a flying cow just took a huge dump on my head.

GJ Jonan, you're the best!

the lengths i would go to.

2009-10-30T03:21:00.000+08:00

What would you do for love?

Would you die?

Would you kill?

XXX

2009-10-29T02:40:00.006+08:00

I give a crooked grin,an aloof wink but I carry the weight of your heart in mine.

I'm afraid that the uncontrollable urge would well up again and overflow onto the people surrounding me, especially those I care about.

I shied away from that path a long time ago and I sure as hell hope I stay off it.

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.

There's really nothing wrong with me.

Use me as you will, pull my strings just for a thrill.

K I'm sure all of you think I'm a narcotics test waiting to happen now don't you.

Why like that.

2009-10-28T01:45:00.002+08:00

Am fucking tired and sweaty from boxing tsktsktsk.

Going for a drunken drive with the guys laterrrr but I have class at 12 tmr woohoo.

I wonder why I feel stupid. I think that alot. Stop INVADING my thoughts!

And I always feel hungry at the most inconvenient of times.

EMOTION VS. INEPTITUDE.

The ragged they come,and the ragged they kill.

2009-10-27T02:25:00.002+08:00

He knows the highs and lows
He'll give you what you need
And we all agree it's time to shine
He'll stand and deliver
He goes about his day
Smile and a wink hello
When the picture's gone
Fading to black he's poppin' down prozac
Nobody knows the highs and the lows.

I think I have to get better whiskey.

Cause I've got nothing to do but get screwed up on you woohoo(it rhymes).

I have to start going to school like more frequently.

My teacher forgot I was in his class today, so yeah.

I pray so hard on bloody knees, hey hey, I'm the one that you wanted.

Hey hey I'm your Superbeast.

human doormats and blackbox people

2009-10-25T02:02:00.003+08:00

"But every lesson we learn from past experiences is not always the one we should have learned."

Anger is the father of violence, as well as I know, but wrath, when it is the product of pure indignation and untainted by ideology, is the father of justice and a necessary answer to evil.

A lesson I have learnt and kept close to my heart. It would do a great good if you did too.

Aside of that, I still feel like a walking bottle of Chivas with scotch sloshing around me splish splish.

drunken dreams and split seams.

2009-10-24T04:31:00.007+08:00

In your eyes I see a darkness that torments you
and in your head where it dwells.
I'd give you my hand if you'd reach out and grab it.
Let's walk away from this hell.

Do something like this for me caaaan?

Cause if Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied,
Illuminate the 'No's on their vacancy signs,
If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks,
I'll follow you into dark.

Watching on as your other half passes on is painful(assuming I ever get one cause I don't :X),but yeah,I think I'd do just that.

Being alone is really tiring.

Yes,more so than your 2.4 run in secondary school.

No really,it is :D

I wonder why I'm always bored.

2009-10-22T02:40:00.004+08:00

I'm just a sample of a soul made to look just like a human being.

"Cold-blooded, what made you freeze so, what made you hard so, what made you freeze like ice?"

I've always pondered why someone who seems like a normal person on the surface can change into an emotionless machine once something of value is being threatened, strange much?

And yes, just finished gallivanting around Singapore in the car with Mr. Gabriel Beh, the numero uno likeliest person to get caught by the LTA for doing something stupid like forgetting to turn on the car's headlights.

Dad is gonna kill me when he sees the petrol :S

Somemore annoyingly starlight-moonshine vulgarity-free stuff I felt like typing out.

Although he was usually a clumsy dancer, he never once put a foot wrong, and around them turned the lush landscaping that was the consequence of his patient labor, and above them shone the stars that he had never offered her because he wasn't a man given to poetic declarations, but she owned the stars already, and the moon bowed to her as well, and all the heavens, and the night.

Don't ask me why I usually churn shit like this out at night.

I might be some sort of were-poet :D

Constellations

2009-10-21T02:15:00.003+08:00

Under a great casting of stars, in the moonlight, she is so lovely that words fail him, as they have so often failed him before. Although he knows her as well as he knows himself, she is as mysterious as she is lovely, an eternal depth in her eyes, but she is no more mysterious than are the stars and the moon and all things on the earth.

It's hard to climb out of this pit I'm in, somewhere within me I feel it's a forlorn cause.

But by God, I'll fuckin' try.

Voodoo Mystic Shitzxzx

2009-10-20T04:43:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I feel like I'm Atlas, the great primevial Titan, chained to destiny and bearing the weight of the entire world on my shoulders.

Other times I feel like I am just a breeze, a passing draft, drifting through lives like the Eastern Wind.

I can be as volcanic as Pompeii itself, raining ash and sorrow down on others when my wrath is provoked.

I can be still like the calm waters on a midsummer's day or a raging maelstrom, greater than the tumultous waves which consumed Atlantis.

Or I can be an idiot, using metaphors which sound too grand for just a teenage dirtbag such as I.

Either way, I don't appreciate people fucking with the ones I love and so the gears have been set into motion.

And it will be long before they trundle to a halt.

always a cloud covering the sun

2009-10-19T04:56:00.003+08:00

What the hell is wrong with the world? Why do people let things like that happen to them?

Stuff like that is horribly disturbing.

I've never given it a fuck when I read about it in the papers but thinking about it happening to someone you know, even casually, affects you profoundly.

I mean like, I wouldn't give it half a thought if I encountered such a problem cause I know(or at least I think I do)I can handle problems like that. But for someone utterly defenseless it's...atrocious.

If I'm not making any sense don't mind me, I never do.

Well, it happens mosta the time when you've just drank two whole bottles of vodka(bragging about my alcohol tolerence again :X).

Or maybe cause all the smoking has made my thought processes differ from a normal human's. Please no brain damage kthxbai.

On top of that, I have no idea why the fuck I've started coughing again. I think it's cause of the excess smoking which is bad for my lungs as well as my wallet. And it's really hard not to cough while you're debating with your mom over Atheism vs Christianity issues when your throat feels like there's some idiot sticking a feather down it.

I cannot fall sick again.

I would miss out on too many drinking nights.

And I don't care, I would fight to the last tooth and nail for any of you.

No matter what you people say or do.

*Applause for heroic, selfless, sacrificial statement please ty.* :DDD

She saw me bleeding, on the bathroom floor.

2009-10-18T14:08:00.002+08:00

Enjoy the ride while it lasts?

Nah, I think I'll bring the whole damn thing home :D

Life,love and lust.

2009-10-17T09:18:00.004+08:00

I'm just a sucker,with no self-esteem.

It's funny how love between two individual,even clashing personalities is always fucking timeless. On the other (unfortunate)hand, unrequitedness can be the most painful things that one can experience. Perhaps this is God's way of crafting the human nature,through trials and tribulations.

Or on a more realistic note,I might just be a loser.

It's funny how you can fall,head, heels and all for someone you've just barely met. And then you just torture yourself over the possibilities and the stigma of rejection. I don't know why, but the tragic beauty of loving someone you know who's impossible to hold and treasure within your arms draws people, even if they know they'll be hurt.

Just like moths to a flame. The glimmering, dancing light always seems so enticing even if you know you'll get scarred and burnt.

Moths to a flame.

Just something to chew on.

Life out there?

2009-10-06T14:31:00.003+08:00

Yes,I'm just felt like writing a few depressing thoughts down.

1.Nobody ever reads my blog but I still continue to post.This proves I (a)have a lot of time,(b)am a loser who still hopes people will eventually stumble over it one day,(c)have nothing else better to do with my life or (d)all of the above.

2.I am faced with the shocking realisation that I am already 18 years old and have done absolutely nothing with my life nor touched any others.

And no,providing a reliable connection for weed doesn't count.

I have no achievements or awards,neither do I excel in the educational aspect.Quite the contrary,rather.

3.I am going to die single and lonely either homeless or in a one-room flat.(no retirement home cause I won't have any children to stick me in one)

Three years and counting I have had not even the slightest form that could be even passable as a decent,healthy relationship with a member of the opposite sex.

Way to go,exceptional-bad-luck-with-women boy.

Which leads us to depressing thought number:

4.I will be entering NS next year.In NS there will not be any females(perhaps excluding the tough as nails,built like a gorilla female sargeant who will probably kick me in the nuts if I ever asked her out)and the only sexual contact I will ever have will be some second-hand issue of the past year's FHM and my right hand.

Adding insult to injury,I have to make sure the bunk doesn't creak while I'm about it either!

5.In my old age,I will eventually degrade into one of those old men I despise.The ones that hang around hawker centres mooching cigarettes off teenager and cussing like a gangbanger if they are denied.

How very delightful.

Which leads me to say:fuck you,life.

You'd better give me something to brighten up to soon.

MEH.

2009-10-01T07:07:00.001+08:00

The boys and I all shake our heads in bewilderment.

Where the fuck do you find girls like that?

Let alone date em'.

fuck this

2009-09-30T04:35:00.003+08:00

Tired of coming home reeking of cheap perfume,tobacco smoke and alcohol.There's gotta be more to life than this shit I'm in.

Interesting to note that we're the lowest form of human scum but we revel in it anyways.Ah well,crows of a feather,fight together.That's all we know how to do I suppose.I try my best,I really do,to ascend from all this shit we're involved with.All that dealing,hurting and hunting,don't think any of us can take it anymore.

We all just put up a front just not to display weakness in front of each other.On the contrary,I can see we're all weak.We just can't live without this life we're so desensitized to.

Escape from reality anyone?

Cause we're already running.

Wish the dream was just the same.

2009-09-12T05:50:00.001+08:00

NARRATOR:
A love-struck Romeo sings the streets a serenade
Laying everybody low with a love song that he made.
Finds a streetlight, steps out of the shade
Says something like, "You and me babe, how about it?"

Juliet says, "Hey, it's Romeo, you nearly gave me a heart attack!"
He's underneath the window, she's singing, "Hey la, my boyfriend's back.
You shouldn't come around here singing up to people like that...
Anyway, what you gonna do about it?"

ROMEO:
Juliet, the dice was loaded from the start
And I bet when you exploded into my heart
And I forget I forget the movie song.
When you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?

Come up on different streets, they're both the streets of shame.
Both dirty, both mean, yes, in the dream it was just the same
And I dreamed your dream for you and now your dream is real.
How can you look at me as if I was just another one of your deals?

Well you can fall for chains of silver,
You can fall for chains of gold,
You can fall for pretty strangers
And the promises they hold.
You promised me everything, you promised me thick and thin, yeah!
Now you just say, "Oh Romeo? Yeah, you know I used to have a scene with him".

Juliet, when we made love, you used to cry.
You said, "I love you like the stars above, I'll love you 'til I die".
There's a place for us, you know the movie song.
When you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?

I can't do the talk, like the talk on TV
And I can't do a love song, like the way it's meant to be.
I can't do everything, but I'll do anything for you.
I can't do anything, 'cept be in love with you!
And all I do is miss you and the way we used to be.
All I do is keep the beat... and bad company.
Now all I do is kiss you through the bars of a rhyme,
Juliet, I'd do the stars with you any time!

Juliet, when we made love you used to cry.
You said, "I love you like the stars above, I'll love you 'til I die".
There's a place for us, you know the movie song.
When you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?

NARRATOR:
And a love-struck Romeo sings a street-suss serenade
Laying everybody low with a lovesong that he made
Finds a convenient streetlight, steps out of the shade
He says something like, "You and me babe, how about it?"

ROMEO:
You and me babe, how about it?

Too many alcohol-induced nights.

wahlao

2009-09-11T18:48:00.003+08:00

I don't know how to deal with this.

Uncertainty,anxiety and whatever comes to mind.

Ah fuck it,I'll take anything that's coming my way, and then some.

Ghost Whisperer.

2009-09-04T04:51:00.002+08:00

Jonan to Houston:We are cleared for landing.

Yeah it's me again. Annoyed? Probably.

School's been pretty rough on me with projects and shit( and don't give me any "oh, why didn't you start earliers?"for those who know me)but things are looking up with a 2 week "study" break. Well it's the Seventh Month again and speaking of which, the burning of notes has started up again and is really pissing the hell out of me.

Irony yes?(I'm a smoker)

They should burn banks and atms for them or something.

And while we're on the topic of ghosts, the netherworld and shit like that, I'd like to make one thing clear:

You can talk to ghosts.

Well, at least you can think you do. I know I do that for kicks when I'm drunk or bored at the poolside. BUT, they never ever answer back. Nope, not in your dreams, neither are they audible in reality. Well in your imagination (albeit a fucked-up one) perhaps.

It is even more bizarre when someone supposedly speaks to a deceased loved one of yours. Especially if he/she hasn't even met the person. That's just plain freaky, and I'd knee the person in the nuts(if they had them) if anyone told me that.

Firstly:It dictates a lack of respect for the mystical threshold that seperates the living and the dead and for the deceased himself/herself.

Secondly:Look, it's weird man. That's NOT cool. 'Specially if it's about your mom or something.

Thirdly:I'd (and so would any sane person) think you were suckin' fuckin' thundercuntin' NUTS.

So (pretending) to talk to dead people is not cool.

We do not hold tea-parties and fucking luncheons with spirits like in the 6th Sense or Ghost Whisperer. Sure, certain people may see the odd thing now and then and I am very much a believer(with sufficable evidence) in the paranormal.

What?You think a conversation with a ghost goes like this?

Me:Hi ghost.

Ghost:Hi you lucky,living sonofabitch.

Me:There's no need to be offensive.

Ghost:Yeah,try being in my position with smoke and ash constantly billowing in your face during the Seventh Month you cum-swallowing diseased pair of ferret's testicles.

Me:Chill it bro.How's it like over there man?

Ghost:Well,it's pretty much hot.And it gets hotter everyday.

Me:Wow,that must suck pretty bad dude.

Ghost:You have no fuckin' idea.

*floats away*

Get what I mean?(No offense to folks who commerate the Seventh Month btw)

In my humblest opinions, a ghost to me is the subtle kiss of a loved one(deceased) on your cheek which you thought was the wind.

The prickling of gooseflesh on the back of your neck when you're at places you shouldn't be.

Just the slightest smudge of a shadow in the corner of your vision when you turn around too quickly.

Perhaps all of these things are,and perhaps they're not.

But you do not have table talk with ghosts.

Bottomline is, people who claim to speak to ghosts are probably loonies who spend their time camping in cemetaries trying to cajole 4D numbers out of rotting corpses or con-artists who are probably out to cheat your sentiments and a good healthy load of cash out of your pockets.

Comprehende?

Over and fuckin' out,Jonan.

Remember to sign up for my "Dining with the Dead" and "Pretending to be Paranormal" workshops if you really wanna try to hold a decent conversation with a ghost,zombie,vampire,whatever.

with friends like these...

2009-08-31T06:21:00.002+08:00

With love,from Nicknick to Seba:

nigolas with BIG love! says:
hahaha
power
ok i go sleeop
pity the selfishness of lovers:it is brief,a forlorn hope;impossible. says:
kk
nigolas with BIG love! says:
or else i become more angry
pity the selfishness of lovers:it is brief,a forlorn hope;impossible. says:
good morning
nigolas with BIG love! says:
later i morning wake up IC name become sebastian
k goodnight

I've never been good enough for people and I never will be.You can all go fuck yourselves with your little boys and shiny disco toys.Conforming to society has been something I can't(refuse)to do.

I should go join the Goth kids in the corner.

I'm perfectly content to live in my own little bubble,with HH singing like a pig having an orgasm,everyone rolling their eyes at Mike's Sailor Moon jokes and Kiong being lamabasted for his pedophilic tendencies.

And,I don't give half a fuck if you don't know what I'm talking about either :D

My body feels like it might just give way soon,like an old Sanyo air-conditioner.(dramatic metaphor eh?)

Drinking is really,really bad for you.(Alcohol terrible,urine worse.)

"If what they say is true,you're a boy and I'm a girl.I will never fall in love with youuu."

Orly?

not so young but still dangerous.i think.

2009-08-25T21:31:00.004+08:00

Why you watchin' me dance with the enemy?

Things are pretty much getting to normal school life alr.Although with all the stupid projects coming in and questionable people popping up everywhere it just spices up the routine a little more.

Want something exciting to happen pretty soon,but not TOO exciting(you people should know what I mean huh,i.e:getting punched in the face for holding an umbrella).Recently had a gathering at Sam's chalet with the old 308 crew and I've to say everyone's looking pretty good(with the exception of Ben who's still getting everyone's beer,barbecuing everyone's food and enduring everyone's taupoks).Looking back,we've all come pretty far from the young,impressionable feisty(our teachers would say the same)teens we were in secondary school.

If you consider dealing in recreational chemicals,weapons and syndicated betting going far(yes,Izwan?).If any of you guys are reading this,just picture us hanging around the Castle smoking bloody Gudang Garams and eating sunflower seeds like hamsters on crack.You'll laugh at how stupid we were.

And then stop cause after all,you are still laughing at yourselves.

But still,good times people,good times.

Oh yes,please stop touching my heart.I can't afford it given the state I'm in.

I'm broke :D

Burning the midnight oil like Ala-fucking-dinn.

2009-08-17T05:24:00.002+08:00

Hello world.

I'm dying. I haven't had sleep for 2 days and my body is wired on Red Bull and nicotine. I feel like the lead character in Crank.

My vision has started to vibrate and the words on the screen are swimming around like dolphins in the Atlantic C.

Still at least three-quarters of the thesis to go, hurray for excess carbo or I'd be concussed right now.

My muscles are twitching.

I feel funny.

I hate myself and i love you.

2009-07-25T06:10:00.002+08:00

A Technicolour phase to you,and you only.

I am the red in the rose, the flowers
on the blankets on your bedroom floor.
And I am the gray in the ghost that hides
with your clothes behind your closet door.

I am the green in the grass that bends back
from underneath your feet.
And I am the blue in your back alley view
where the horizon and the rooftops meet.

If you cut me I suppose I would bleed the colors
of the evening stars.
You can go anywhere you wish cause I'll be there, wherever you are.
(wherever you are)

(I will always be your keys
when we are lost in the technicolor phase)

The black in the book
the letters on the pages that you memorize.
And I am the orange in the overcast
of color that you visualize.

I am the white in the walls that soak up
all the sound when you cannot sleep.
And I am the peach in the starfish on the beach
that wish the harbor wasn't quite so deep.

If you cut me I suppose I would bleed the colors
of the evening stars. (my darling)
You can go anywhere you wish cause I'll be there, wherever you are.

I wish I had the chance,maybe it was my imagination.But I felt a brief spark when we gazed into each other's eyes.(actually it was just a glance but I'm trying to sound dramatic.)This is the most obvious that it's gonna get:Your eyelashes can pop balloons,but your eyes remind me of the ethereal firefly moon.I know if I'd just had a chance to know you,and likewise,I'd take your breath away(being thick-skinned)and you'd steal mine.But all I assume is that you'd probably think I'm just a violent savage,incapable of the deeper things in life,mysteries.

You'll always be a neverending kaidelescope to me,your emotions a burst of colour.

I can safely say I love you,even though I've hardly met you.

And yes,I'm clearly drunk.

LOL@KIONG.

2009-07-02T17:51:00.000+08:00

we are not insane,just reckless. says:
eh
we are not insane,just reckless. says:
you want webcam
we are not insane,just reckless. says:
then can see me
we are not insane,just reckless. says:
use your gf pic
we are not insane,just reckless. says:
pcc
`·$13Mrs ChoO·$6is·$7Mr ChOo's♥ says:
eh fuck ur mother die bodoh
we are not insane,just reckless. says:
want not
we are not insane,just reckless. says:
i can on webcam

I love stuff like this :D

Feckin' sucks,

2009-06-28T03:59:00.003+08:00

My life sucks like a blowjob.

But it's all I have so I'll just bite the bullet and trudge on.

You really are my ecstasy.

2009-06-19T01:15:00.001+08:00

It's funny how someone can make you feel like this.

Girls are like drugs.

And we're the addicts.

decisions bring out the worst in you.

2009-06-17T04:07:00.003+08:00

Finally getting my wayward life back on track,I only hope I don't get derailed again.

Why can't love just consist of a connection between two people,without all the other factors intruding on it.I miss the time when it was simple,free from all the complexities that are binding it now.I guess when you grow older Christmas loses it's magic,Lunar New Year lanterns don't captivate you like they used to and passion becomes tainted with the lies and conditions.

Oh,I'm taking a shit as I write this,woohoo!

Trusting other individuals is one of the most beautiful aspects of human nature.Some might call you guillible,others might label you a fool but the fact is,they've lost a part of themselves in the machinations of today.

Unfortunately,I belong to Them.

What would I,perhaps all of us give,to be able to engage another person wholeheartedly,to take them as they are and to face the world not with trepidation but inspiration.To be free of the anxiety of fabrications and the torment that inevitably ensures.The deeper you fall into another person,the harder you hit the ground when they step back.

If you stare into the Abyss long enough,the Abyss stares back into you-Friedrich Nietzsche.

It's the things like these that prevent us from opening doors to opportunities and swashbuckle through life.

Will I pick up the cutlass?

Only time(and lotsa lotsa booze)will tell.

I must think myself as some sort of warrior-poet lol.

Well anyone up for Phuture/Zouk tmr?It's been a long time since I've hit the clubs and I'm hoping it'll be a good night for me and the boys.

Alright see you people in the morning(technically it's late afternoon for me),Jonan.

i'm cold and i'm cruel but i know what i'm doing.

2009-05-24T14:48:00.002+08:00

I'm seeing the effects of my callousness upon others leading me into doing some zen-buddha contemplation ching-chong shit.

Teenage greed is rampant.

Ever felt like you tried to be the straight man,but you just couldn't fight your impulses?Not by choice,I've been made into some sort of a strange anti-hero.

Sense?

Sense is nothing.

But I don't mind if you don't mind,well I don't shine if you don't shine.

smoking is bad for your health but not if you do lights!

2009-05-15T08:34:00.005+08:00

"Ow",said my neck this morning,"It hurts when you stay up awake all night till 8.37 am in the morning every day Jonan."

Bear with it asshole,you know the eyes and the brain don't want to sleep yet and I've to put up with it too so quit complaining,I think back to my neck.

"Fuck you." grumbled my neck before went back to sleep in a huff.

This is why I think I'm not normal.(ABSOLUTELY! shout my parents in the background)

So, basically my life has been stuck on a cycle of eat,sleep,train,drink for the past few days.I need something deeper(like a girlfriend hinthint omgplzgimmeanicecuteprettyonewtfbbq*ahem)to fill the void within me.

And yes I know I just made myself sound like a doughnut.

Also recently,I've been getting more annoyed than per normal which already is,pretty frequent.I hate how certain people are getting along so well in life while I am being a stuck jealous whiny little bitch in my room.And my tooth hurts after eating some bread which was obviously baked with glass shards and in a concrete mixer by my beloved mother.

Oh yes,and *they* are banning tobacco products with the words "Mild","Light",etc. Apparently,we teenagers are intellectually crippled enough to think that cigarettes with these words on the packaging are healthier to consume.

That's like saying we'd drink a little turpentine just because it says "Lethal if consumed in large amounts."

Idiot(smokes a half a pack of reds a day):"Ey,I want to be healthier but I cannot quit smoking,how ah bro?"

Shop Uncle:"Ah boy ah,you see this cigarette ah,the name call Mile(Mild)7,then the packet kaler(color)blue blue colour one,less damaging to your health la boy."

Idiot:"Wah uncle, you sure or not?Later my mother beat me again sia,I now use crutches already very difficult eh."

Shop Uncle(thinks to himself,wah cheebye I think your mother kill you before you even get the chance to tio lung cancer sia):"Can one la boy,you see this Mile 7 cigarette ah,the filter so blardy long,the tar must take car to reach your lung ah!You know why this cigarette call Mile 7 or not?"

Idiot:"Um,why ah uncle?"

Shop Uncle:"Because can smoke like fuck la!"

Idiot:"Wah uncle come I jitao buy one carton!"

Shop Uncle:"Ah okay boy,thank velly mush for your bizness ah,support uncle abit ah.You see the packet kaler ah,also good.When you play the computers then your eye pain pain ah,you take out your cigalette then you stare at the packet.The brue brue kaler very good for the eye,uncle everyday confirm stare at the Mile 7 packet one.Then ah,you see the packet also made of recycled paper ah even good for enviroment..."

*HOME*

Idiot:"MA!Come see,I buy this cigarette now I can smoke like free!Uncle say the tar need to take car to enter my lungs sia!They also got no Esso the car cannot move hahaha!I use my pocket money buy one carton see mummy!"

Mother:"WAH CHAO CHEE BYE!"

Yeah we're all like that.

Thanks for the faith and trust in us young ones PAP.

I think I'll go take my tablespoon of turpentine now,Jonan.

By the way,I am a smoker myself and I do fully understand the health hazards(and am feeling some of them now already)of smoking as do most smokers too.

However,I'd like to freedom of choice to fuck up my body as and when I like so I'd prefer the taxes,bans and whatever to go the fuck away thank you very much.

And yes,I know Mild 7 isn't healthier just because it has the word "Mild" in it,thanks for wondering.

Regret,Remorse and Relentless Violence.

2009-05-07T05:54:00.002+08:00

If only you'd just be mine and I would stop all of this shit totally,absolutely,spontaneously and whatever else shit you could name.

I'm so fucking high now that I'm speaking from the heart.

I never wanted to walk this road of life,it's just that my being was drawn to it(coupled by a few unpleasant experiences)until I started enjoying receiving and dishing out the pain.Sure,being with the guys is fun and I would give anything up for any of them if they were in trouble but at the end of the day,guess what?

I'm still alone.

Not in the sense of brotherhood,I've had plenty of that,but it's in the area of emotional exchange from another person.

And no,I do not dig guys so if any of you are thinking what I am assuming you are,kindly fuck off sayanora.(Wow,I can speak Japanese too.)

On a lighter note,life has been pretty much the same for me except that I miss certain people a whole lot more.(Shoutouts go to Jieying,Wong,Peiying,Yuting,Vincent,Ben Lu,Ben Ee,Leonard and the list goes on an on just like the wheels on the bus.)

Max not really cause I meet the asshole on a regular basis.

I think I'm experiencing several personal issues in my life(god this so sounds like an advert for alcoholics anonymous)such as bouts of self loathing,bloodlust and a disregard for the moral standards I've set for myself.

Jumping to current affairs,the government is tightening it's noose on us smokers,raising fines and increasing the number of spotchecks.All we can do is just roll with the punches and fight back in our own little ways(support your local malaysian/indonesian cigarette dealer!).

Times are changing,I may be a fucking bastard and I admit that.

But one thing that won't ever evolve,morph or transmogrify(to use a Harry Potter word)is the fact that we suit each other like um,peas in a pod?

Twins in a womb?

Er,Moonlight to a werewolf?(Failed metaphor)

All I know is that we belong with each other.

But the way I am,it's time to face the truth.

I will never be with you.

Yes kinda corny/cheesy(whichever you prefer)I know.

But that's just the way I feel.

By the way,I've noticed that I've used the word 'but' quite a number of times.

What-thefuck-ever,Jonan out.

i hit a wall.

2009-04-24T07:33:00.002+08:00

Really.

Miss.

You.

Guys.

Yeah balls. Body feels like it's been through a blending machine and food processor after training. But dear old Uncle M says the squats will increase endurance and thrusting power during intercourse swee LOL.

It's Varian Vs. Random Chinaman later in the afternoon :D

Seeya'll love.

fuck la.

2009-04-18T19:35:00.002+08:00

I want/need to hurt someone.

What do you want to use your fists for?

I don't know myself.

K now I sound like some anime character +10.

Gothic Chique

2009-04-14T23:41:00.003+08:00

Sweet dreams are made of these,who am I to disagree?

Travel the world and the Seven Seas,everybody's looking for something.

It's sad really,I won't ever get to see you again.

It was already hard enough.

you are a fucking rollercoaster.

2009-04-14T05:12:00.002+08:00

SILENCE FOR THE PEOPLE,THEY ALWAYS EAT THE HAND THAT BLEEDS.SILENCE FOR THE PEOPLE GIVE THE KIDS WHAT THEY NEED.

KILL YOUR GOD,KILL YOUR TV.

I feel like shit,it's 5am,I have to get up at 8 and Wk's stolen my bolster g'dammit.

i never win :D

2009-04-08T04:56:00.002+08:00

Heartstrings always get tangled up just like her hair after a messy fling.

Your heartbreak feels like the cut throat of a maestro who's right about to sing.

Yeah,the tears never fall but on the other hand she never calls.

Waking up to face the morning feels like a cruxifiction, get into your car and start the ignition.

To drive off a cliff and fall...but hey fuck,what's this?-the engine stalls.

No fault with the gearbox,the carbureater,you realise it's you who can't do it.

You've never been able to do anything at all.

The Days

2009-04-04T08:16:00.002+08:00

And yeah,I still miss the days of not having a care in the world,going to drink after school,gambling under the void decks to pass time.

Mahjong sessions.

Lan outings.

Relics of the life I used to lead.

Remember the good ol' days my friends.

The good old days.

Oh yes!And we had Aston's near our school :D

The Crunch Comes Down to This.

2009-04-04T07:55:00.002+08:00

I'll make it short,sweet and simple.

I've officially been expelled from my school.(Temasek Polytechnic)

It came as a rather huge shock to me.I remember discovering my status in school(removed from course) and laughing like a fucking hyena for at least 10 minutes before trying to chain smoke the knowledge away.

Honestly,I was complacent.I didn't ever think I would be expelled from anywhere before.All my life,I've succeeded or scraped by through last minute studying,etc.Unfortunately I took it to the limit in poly,drinking in school,escaping classes,ditching lectures.

Yeah,I damn well paid the price.

I enjoyed my life in TP.It would be honest to say that it was one of the periods where I grew up and changed the most in polytechnic,even in that one year alone.I made plenty of new friends,several enemies(I'm not ashamed to say) and had a metamorphosis in my ideology.I can't bear to leave my school knowing that I've so much more people to meet,so many activities to do.I can't leave my classmates and my other friends in school behind.

It's been a long time since I've poured things out from my heart like this.I'm not afraid about my education ironically,I've always been a live for the moment,die tomorrow person for those whom know me well.What I'm worried and afraid about is the people,experiences and opportunities(not that kind la)I'll be leaving behind.

I spoke to the school counselor today,she told me there were many other options:NS,private uni,studying overseas etc.My parents were quite heartened to hear this which I'm rather glad for.

But in my heart,I'll always be a TP student.I know this sounds kinda gay but that's how I feel.I've already made a name and space for myself there and there's no way in blue freezing hell I'll be giving it up.

So to my classmates and everyone else who's worried,fear not.Jonan will remain in TP to irritate the living hell out of each and everyone of you,to cause fights and a ruckus when the Year 1 batch appears.

The only difference is that I'll be studying harder than ever when my appeal goes through.

And fuck all of that,TP will definitely be my school for the next 2 years I swear on it.I've always never been one to give an inch in love or war,and absolutely not in this case either.

So look forward to a new year ahead with all of you people next year and the drinks are on me the next time we hang out.

Either that or it's NS.(I'm just writing this so I don't sound too arrogant,don't wanna jinx the appeal)

Take care,Peace out and FUCK EXPULSION.

Jonan.

silence of the lambs.

2009-03-08T06:26:00.002+08:00

Why,when we do our darkest deeds do we tell?
They burn in our brains,become a living hell.

The past few weeks have been a flurry of chalets,late night drinking sessions and mid-afternoon hangovers(which suck pretty badly).I can't remember a time during the holidays when I've woken up(after an adequate 6 hours of sleep hurhur)during a time when the sun is up and about.

Life is gooooood.

So what have I been up to so far?

Playing mahjong.

Yes,playing mahjong.No kidding.

My mom laughed her ass off(quite hysterically I might add,I was afraid she might hyperventilate)when she saw me in a mahjong session with several individuals.

"Cannot even see things properly,now want to play mahjong.You see you missing one tile you also don't know."(THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A REFERENCE TO MY LESS THAN DECENTLY SIZED EYES)

Yes,I was missing a tile but I blame it on the lack of nicotine or someone cheating at the table.

Apparently,watching Cantonese movies such as Kungfu Mahjong,etc does not help either.

They've already labelled me "God of Mahjong" and "Mahjong Legend".

There are limits to how sarcastic one can be.

Anyway,until next time!

PONG!,Jonan.

Sacrifice

2009-03-05T11:11:00.003+08:00

Some people think of rainpour as the blessings of the gods above,but on this cold autumn dusk it lashed against his skin with the sting of a captain's cat o' ninetails.Gritting his teeth,he squared himself and set himself against the howling tempests of the wind,driven by that sole memory of her.

The clean,delicate scent of her flaxen hair,carried by the currents of a light,gentle spring's breeze delighted his senses,far surpassing any fragrant ambrosia he had ever encountered in his entire lifetime.Perhaps,it was because of the weather,the fresh earthy smell of ozone.Perhaps,it was because of his emotions,his heartstrings being strummed like a sitar to cantillate the tune of a merry folk song whenever he caught a glimpse of her pale,elfin countenance.

Everytime he was near her,it always felt like the first time all over again.

Words could not,and would never be able to fully dictate the maelstrom of ecstacy that churned within him.

After all,words are just 26 little things arranged and rearranged to delight,belittle and dazzle one's soul.

A flash of lightning,cutting a jagged streak through the raging sky,illuminated his rain-streaked face like the flaming chariot of some deity pulling the sun across the horizon.

Whether he was crying,one could not tell.

He did not even know himself.

His breath grew ragged as he stumbled across the cliffs,made lethally treacherous by the slick of the rain and mud.He could feel the dull pain spark across his abdomen once again.His lifeblood pumped relentlessly against the makeshit tourniquet,causing him to lose his balance more than once.He could feel fatigue and unconsciousness begin to creep up on him,like a hag upon a child on a cold,dark,fictional midnight.

The shouts of men and the deep-throated growl of rabid dogs echoed somewhere along his trail.His heart sank.He was not a hero,he never wanted to be one,but circumstances thrust him as such and he'd be a fool not to take the opportunity.

Tears made their descent from his weatherbeaten cheeks and trickled from his chin,splashing on trembling fingers that struggled to load and cock a Winchester rifle,mechanisms that betrayed him for the rain.

He already knew he would not survive,it was just to buy her invaluable time to flee.The man gave a heavy sigh as he propped himself up on his uninjured side behind a rugged looking boulder and braced himself.

The first uniformed figure emerged from the cover of the tall grass barking commands,sounding much like his companion he held on a leash.

He took aim,drew a breath and squeezed tightly on the trigger.

The figure crumpled onto the ground,feebly crying out as the beast he had with him lunged forward,no longer bound by the leash.

A bullet grazed his ear,a white-hot flash that drew blood as he tried to take aim once more.

A second projectile drilled into his shoulder,pulverising bone and rupturing arteries.This time feeling more like a sledgehammer blow,wounding him more greviously as compared to the first had.

The darkness and excruciation engulfed his senses and his nerves,signalling that his end was nigh.

He could feel the multiples of bullets thudding into the boulder,chipping splinters with the force of a thousand chisels,confirming that he was surrounded.

His arm dangled limply,useless due to the injury that had gone untreated as blood continued to drain it into numbness.

And through all this,he looked up into the storm and wondered.

Oh,that perfect flaxen hair...

XX

2009-02-17T13:52:00.003+08:00

I'd hate to have to do this but yeah,I can see where this is going. It's only a matter of time before an unfortunate incident strikes and you start to rat us out.

Either that,or you sever all ties with us,it's for the best.

Because I would really hate to do it.

I don't know about the rest.

Wheeee I sound like Leonardo Dicaprio from The Departed hee.

my mind's unweaving

2009-02-17T00:42:00.002+08:00

FUCK YOU ALL!

I think I'm losing it.

And that's for no apparent reason,I just happen to feel this way with an eruption of angst coursing through the highway of my emotions.

I suspect I'm part schizo.

drink,drank,drunk

2009-02-15T00:59:00.002+08:00

The past week has been one huge blast.Riding on the waves of alcohol,trance and RnB music towards my 18th birthday.I think my liver is cussing me like a sailor now.

Started it off on wednesday(not counting the weekdays on which I have a nice,cold beer with Alvin my drinking kaki at the TP coffeeshop.),went to Phuture together with Alvin,Natalie and Ruben to face up against Vincent's,Alvin's and Douglas' threats to kill me with drinks.

I survived after downing 2 graveyards(you should have seen the look on some random girl's face when I was chugging them),a flaming lamborghini,5 apple shooters and an additional 5 tequila shots.

Headed down to the dancefloor in a tipsy daze with buzzing in my ears(no,not the nagging of my parents lol)and started to work my shit.

I think some people thought I was having spasms or an orgasm on the dancefloor.

Bopping my head along with the rest of the gang's to the tunes of spun by Andrew Chow when the milk in the flaming lamborghini decided to rebel against my stomach.

I think I hold the world record for making the most people yell "cheebye" in the shortest span of time.

Vincent's arm turned brown and so did some of the other guys' shoes.

Happy days :D

Managed to meet back up with Alvin,Natalie and Afiq who came midway.

Afiq's lightbulb dance is a sight to behold,Broadway theatre,Step Up and Chippendale's all rolled in one.

Danced with some ang moh guy with a couple of girls after he grabbed me out of nowhere and started to jump.

I only hope that's not how they hump in the West.

Trouble on the dancefloor,some drunk asshole tried to cap me in the knee with a Chivas bottle,I reacted and it hit my toe instead.I can assure you,whiskey has never felt so painful.

Grabbed something off the counter and tested the old equation:shot glass versus head

Shot glass won and the idiot stumbled off in a bleeding daze.(And with me giving myself a satisfied smile before blending into the crowd)

Fast forward to Friday,I opened a dua pao(cannon)of Martell:$1058.

Of course with some help from the rest who chipped in.

Night went fast and furious with my friends and brothers from all different walks of life coming in to celebrate with me.Shoutout goes to all my brothers,esp my secondary school group who's always had my back when I was up against the wall(and sometimes when it was against the hard cement floor)and my current TP mates.

Event of the day:Max watching the pole dancer in a mesmerized trance,Ruben goes up behind him and gives the dancer a nice,hard slap on the ass.

Max receives a slap on his cheek in return.

"SIMI LANJIAO!!!!" and the pub bursts into voracious laughter.

Ended up going home in a taxi after in a toilet cubicle for 2 hours,thanks Max,Mike and Jingyuan for not letting me get buttraped by some horny short-sighted old man.

Wouldn't like to wake up with a bloodstain on my pants.

Lots more to tell but my fingers are getting tired(from typing but not with girls if you catch my drift ;D ha just jk).

Peace out ya'll,Jonan.

your momma she gets crazy

2009-02-12T21:22:00.001+08:00

Phuture was good,shall elaborate further later.

Later,Jonan.

18 YEARS OF SUFFERING.

2009-02-10T23:56:00.005+08:00

Happy 18th Birthday(Dirty version)
Composed by Jonan.
Musical score to the song Happy Birthday to You.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME,
I CAN BUY CIGARETTES LEGALLY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME,
I AM OLD ENOUGH TO ENTER JAIL ALREADY!

I HAVE NO FEAR AT PUBS,
NO EVENTS I ALSO CAN CLUB,
ANY CNB RAIDDDD?
"I'M 18",THAT'S WHAT MY I.C SAID!

LIQUOR'S NOT A PROBLEM,
I CAN PASS AT 7-11,
LIQUOR'S NOT A PROBLEMMMMM,
ANY SCREENINGS AND MY I.C WILL SOLVE THEM.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY,HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Sometimes I think I am such a freak.

I am going to 7-11 to buy a pack of sticks now and flash my I.C at the annoyed cashier auntie while grinning like the Joker on crystal meth.

Peace out ya'll.

insanity strikes

2009-02-09T02:22:00.000+08:00

I AM A FUCKING MESS.

AND I NEED TO FUCKING SMOKE.

WHICH I AM GOING TO DO NOW.

NICOTINE+TAR FTW MUTHAFUCKAZZZ.

oblivion.

2009-02-08T06:02:00.001+08:00

Ah,fuck the world.

Myself included and fuck you too.

God,I just felt like saying that.

The Midnight Poet

2009-02-06T00:38:00.004+08:00

The melancholy notes of a flute singing a mournful tune envelopes the silence of the dusk,

Blowing perfect smoke rings under the backdrop of a pitch-velvet midnight sky.

Knocking back a couple,liquid courage going down my throat,not a drop left in the flask,

Contemplating on life,an urban philosopher,but the conclusion leaving me to think everything,even love,has only been,but a romantic lie.

The vibrant hues of the horizon catch your eye,

The glitter-glitzy twinkle of the stars almost convice you that they're intelligent,living,breathing entities with their own lives.

But the failure to believe,to be convicted of it's truth still end in wistful sighs.

Mid-autumn leaves flailing fruitlessly against the cold,ruthless draft,

The trees dedicate their destruction with a mettlesome whirlwind of fiery colour in defiance towards the inevitable.

Unable to be force-fed propaganda,truth and prevarications in a vortex,

You awake from the neverending dream.

You may perceive this as a haiku,a poem,but remember that poems don't always rhyme,and things on the surface may not be what they seem.

The right is always a wrong,the brave are sometimes cowardly and the most timid are fearless in their own ways.

Believe in life and love.

Believe in the substantial and the ethereal.

Believe in almost anything at all,

Guillibility is the Authority's way of supressing one's capability to embrace a free mind,an open pathway,an indomitable spirit.

For the failure to believe,is the failure to live.

Believe.

Heartfelt confessions of a midnight poet,Jonan.

Or someone trying to be cool.

P.S This is the effect of Otard VSOP at 3 am while you're rushing projects.

I <3 my parental units.

2009-02-05T02:42:00.002+08:00

What ties a parent's soul to that of their child's from the moment of the appearance of that soft vulnerable skull emerging excruciatingly slow from the inner depths of a mother's womb(intense agony tagging along not very far behind)as the paternal half watches on in utmost horror(and perhaps an inkling of disgust)as he clutches to his handycam with white-knuckled,sweat-slippery palms.

To the last heaving breath on their deathbeds,using the last exhalation of their rapidly diminishing life essence to bestow their blessings upon their offspring who are in the prime of their lives,before surrendering their souls to the sky and the higher powers beyond.

With the exception of a few nutcases,most parents I know would give their lives and more if it were humanly possible for their children.That goes the same for mine too.(At least I very much hope so)Many teenagers and children(myself included),engage in arguments and petty quarrels with their parents on an almost daily basis.

And I highly doubt it is some new-fangled weight loss program.

The bottomline is:Sometimes,okay actually very rarely,I am mystified by one of the most simple yet complex wonders of the tangible world,the bond between a child and his/her parents.Have you ever encountered cases when you were doing something that was not,how shall we put it?

Yes,morally acceptable or hazadrous to your well-being and your parents just had this gut feeling that something wasn't right?(I can say from experience this is very true or maybe they're just paranoid)Or how a frail woman of let's say 56 kilos could lift a car at least 6 or 7 times her weight through the force of sheer willpower in order to save her son who was trapped underneath the overturned vehicle?(Calculation is based on the average car eg. a Honda.Maybe it wouldn't have been possible if he had been trapped underneath a trailer or a tank.)Yes,one of life's little keys to the universe which makes our great,wide,mysterious world so beautiful(the part where she lifts the car OFF her son,not the part where the car falls ON him)and astounding.

Try chewing on that for a thought.Perhaps the idea of it hadn't hit you in the noggin before,or maybe you just forgot it somewhere along your path to life.But ponder on this,your parents could do all of this for you and more.

Like buying you a Maserati for you 18th birthday(hint momdad hint).

Jokes aside,the next time you have a tiff with your parents,remember this:you're lucky enough to have parents to quarrel with.

AND you should not be thinking something along the lines of "Oh gee whizz!I'm on the right track then,gotta get every opportunity I have to yell in each other's faces before they kick the bucket(or die if you prefer not using metaphorisms)."

Anyway,savour this post.It's once a blue moon(look outta the window!)that I type sentimental,decently intellectual posts like this one.(Most of the time it's just rants or toilet humour-I likkeee)

Gonna hit the sack,have a long day ahead of me tommorow(or today if you're one of those annoying people who insist on being precise to needlepoint),lecture,project submission,tutorial and then MMA shitzxzx.

Hope you'll act on what I've written,or at least keep it in mind.

And if you really can't do either(then you've found a kindred soul in me),REMEMBER YOUR PARENTS HOLD THE ACCESS TO YOUR ALLOWANCE,YOUR BANK ACCOUNT AND MOST IMPORTANTLY,THEY WILL WRITE THE FUCKING WILL PRETTY SOON AIGHT.

XOXO,Jonan.

P.S The expletive is to keep the balance of yin and yang on my blog.(Yin=vulgarities,Yang=happy intelligent useful shit like this post)

LOL @ RUBEN WONG FROM TP ENGINE.

2009-02-03T22:18:00.001+08:00

It's things like these that keep me going on with life:

running away as fast as i can says:
i shit 11 times sia
sex,fuck and fluorescent lighting. says:
LOL
sex,fuck and fluorescent lighting. says:
BEN
sex,fuck and fluorescent lighting. says:
FASTER GO
sex,fuck and fluorescent lighting. says:
WORLD RECORD
sex,fuck and fluorescent lighting. says:
GO TRY
sex,fuck and fluorescent lighting. says:
I THINK GOT CHANCE TO WIN
running away as fast as i can says:
fuck u jo

I think you get the picture :D

aimless

2009-01-30T04:10:00.002+08:00

I am fucking alcohol pumped right now.

I have just hit an extremely frightening realisation.

I am bored with life.

No anger,fury or sadness or excitement.Just a sense of weariness and disgust for the path without direction that I have been wandering on.Those that chill with me should know what I'm speaking(actually whining)about.

I am feeling too tired now,will sign in tmr and chat alright,Jonan.

Malaysia,truly Asia.

2009-01-25T23:52:00.002+08:00

Hello all.I am so fucking bored with a capital B even though I spelt it with a lower case one just now.I am currently in Malaysia visiting my relatives in some god forsaken area of KL.The upside is that I get red packets,the downside is that it's in ringgit and I'm in Malaysia so ringgit automatically is converted to tobacco products.

I can hear the British American Tobacco company laughing already.

Anyway,bringing my laptop is a huge plus(I do use it for purposes other then porn you know)and I'm getting pretty good at CS(playing with expert bots at least 5 hours everyday).Hotel room's pretty okay lotsa bedrooms(but no cute horny malaysian girls ;P),decent internet connection but I miss SINGAPORE.

I want to celebrate CNY with my friends:gloat while you can cause I'm homesick enough to type this only now.

And somehow it just feels so empty not having someone to celebrate all this festive shit with.And by someone I mean female,cute and having eyes only for me(probably not gonna happen but one can wish can't he).

Ah fuck it I'm off to play 11 more rounds of CS,visiting some backwater village tommorow.

I hope I don't get attacked by a rabid chicken and come down with a different strain of flu.

Mandarin oranges,red packets and gong xi something or whatever you people say during Chinese New Year to all of you.

Have a good night,over and fucking out:Jonan.

With friends like these...

2009-01-25T02:44:00.006+08:00

Me and ruben were chatting on msn about relationships and this came up.

Ruben:Hey you heard of the show Changing Spouses?

Me:Yeah,why?

Ruben:Well,I was thinking,imagine they create this show about this guy who fucking loser got no girlfriend before or don't have relationship in a long time...

Me:What the fuck do you mean by that?Fuck you la cheebye!

Ruben:What?Nothing la,let me continue.Then the guy go to like Katong Convent school study for one week.Like send YOU go KC like shiok ah...

Me:I KNEW IT FUCK YOU LA!

don't tell me that it's over,i'm not used to this temptation.

2009-01-20T00:18:00.001+08:00

Fucking brushing the dust off this blog after like what,6 months?(Or maybe more I know to those who will post shit like "10 months la fucknut dunno how to count arh)Have been busy with mundane shit like work,school,drinking and everything in between.(okay maybe not so mundane)Many a time I have come home to drunk to post shit that would irk the living hell out of anyone reading this.(unless you're a cunt like jingyuan who can't comprehend my writings.)

Well,to start things off,I have been doing pretty okay in most areas of my life like love and school.

Okay I lied.

GPA 0.8(Yes enough puns about this please.)

Still no girlfriend.(many potentials but strangely many of them look like they've seen a masturbating cockroach after they've met me,I wonder why.)

Life has not been very kind to me of lately,I wonder if it might be divine retribution.

Nah,I think it's thanks to all the shit I smoke.

Sometimes I honestly start to believe all those pamphlets on smoking stating that it kills our braincells.Examples such as Sheng Bang taking his dad's car out for a spin(yes w/o license of course) to practice parking and going for a little jaunt to Pasir Ris park.Nothing went wrong except for a dented plate,cracked bumper and the engine stalling at a traffic light for 6 minutes.

Oh yeah,some taxi driver seemed to have set his sights on being the next Singapore Idol,stringing together a rap consisting of hokkien,cantonese and malay vulgarities all in one breath when they jumped the red light.We need more capable people like him in Singapore,multi-talented.

Of course it isn't all that bad there're still the little things in life that bring me ecstatic joy(okay i might be pushing it a little on this one)such as getting drunk in class and answering every question with a "HUHHH REALLLY MEHHH."(you have to do it with a japanese AV idol voice.)and playing Left 4 Dead which is a really kickass game.

Mostly because you get to watch your friends fight as a result of playing it.

"ARRRHHH KNN GET THE FUCKING ZOMBIE OFF ME LAA!"

"DON'T WAN'T LEHHH,AN ZHUA(SO HOW?)"

*player 1 walks over and smacks player 2 on the head

"KNN PCB DOG AH YOU, FUCKING AH KUA!"

"GO OUTSIDE SETTLE GO OUTSIDE SETTLE!"

Hmm,it's described as a multiplayer CO-OPerative survival horror game, I wonder why...

Anyways, I'ma gonna head back to my XBOX 360,load in the disc and yell at some people over the microphone(which makes it so fun cause they can't get you unlike in the lan shops wheehee),so good night although it's technically morning but you don't have to be politically correct all the time do you asshole?

Sigh-ing(signing, get it?)off,Jonan.

P.S:I AM NOT A GEEK ALTHOUGH I PLAY GAMES ON THE XBOX AND HAVE A DECENT COMMAND OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE(yes i can hear the "knn si ang moh pai" already.)

P.P.S:NO REALLY,I THINK YOU GIRLS WOULD LIKE ME.DROP ME YOUR CONTACT AND PARTICULARS AT MY EMAIL ADDRESS.PLEASE INCLUDE PHOTO AND CORRESPONDING IDENTIFICATION.OTHER SUBMISSIONS WILL NOT BE ENTERTAINED.

P.P.P.S:ACTUALLY I'M JOKING(yes i am you fucknut who's thinking that i'm thick-skinned to yourself),BUT SUBMISSIONS WOULD STILL BE WELCOME :D

P.P.P.P.S:I wonder how many P's you are allowed to add infront of an S.

dissatisfied?break his nose.

2008-06-03T04:00:00.002+08:00

Today's win means nothing.Although I did hold back a number of times,I still have some areas to improve on.

And if he talks shit about me,more than a black eye and a bloody nose.

Okay I think I sound to cliche-d ha.

RETAIL ACC TMR WHAT ARE YOU DOING JONAN.

torn

2008-05-29T01:55:00.002+08:00

Don't you dare Jonan.

You of all people should know how it feels.

Ah whatthefuck another case of honor obstructing action.

And of course,me talking to myself :|

Rogue.

2008-05-26T00:31:00.002+08:00

Ever since I can remember,I've always been the maverick.

In my family,school and er various other associations and societies...

I guess the second child syndrome is proven pretty correct after all.

Baa baa black sheep have ya any wool?

For those of you who do not have an inkling of what I'm talking about,get a book.

Wait,make it the whole fucking library.

Repetition.

2008-05-23T00:56:00.002+08:00

Fight,bleed,fight,bleed,fight,bleed.

Aren't humans made for a higher purpose?Some transcendent calling that exceeds all of us,amazing us with it's profoundness and the wonder and ethereal beauty of it's majesty?

I guess not.

Back to the routine.

2008-05-21T01:05:00.002+08:00

I have been out of action for at least a week being as sick as an african child with third degree aids.

Unfortunately,I did not have the fun of getting aids.

"Upper respiratory passage infection of the monological psychic factor in quantam space."

Okay,the last part was a little literary freedom on my part.

In other words,it's like "You're a sick bitch.Stop smoking or you will die of lung cancer at 26 and have loser engraved on your tombstone."

Ah whatever, at least I didn't contract aids.

Fight,fight,fight,fight,fight,fight.

Fuck I have to get back in shape.

It's been way too long.

Sigh,Jonan.

Tutorial Blues.

2008-05-04T04:20:00.002+08:00

I found out an interesting fact about myself today.

I take at least 7 hours to complete a piece of CSA homework.

It's not my fault really,that we are required to do research on technological gizmos and whatnots on our first tutorial.

Either that or it was the constant sidetracking to adult websites and singing Cantonese songs(with English lyrics,obviously.But I'm pointing this out for the ignorant..ah whatever.)in an awfully out of tune pitch.My neighbour should be drilling through my ceiling and chucking a hand grenade into my bedroom approximately 5 minutes from now.

But anyways,I still think they should like ask us about Tamagotchis for our first tutorial.

Mine died within 3 days.

Back to CSA homework whatthefuck,Jonan.

don't drink and drive,wait,I can't drive.

2008-04-27T03:17:00.002+08:00

My head feels like shit,like someone's been corkscrewing through it with a pneumatic drill.

I wanna vomit,can't walk straight.

I'm red allllll over baby.

But what the hell,I had fun.

So cheers to all my brothers,forever 308.

TP,one week of hell and then an upturn.

2008-04-25T21:28:00.002+08:00

In a heartening turn of events compared to the last post of despair,I now have friends in poly.Yes normal friends.Okay not so normal(they enjoy making us guys pose in compromising positions but not to the extent of 69.)but great people alike.

Went to sakae on thursday with Yuting(sheesha girl),Nicole/angkongsiao,Cheryl(my irritated partner for mass dance),Vincent/yellowboy and of course my best(actually more like previously only friend)and er,forced gay partner Minghui/emo/triangle(this nickname has a long story.).After MH did both of us a great if not humiliating favour and begged them to be our friends.

Look,bottomline is:it worked.

Ya la ya la okay I admit quite loser but still it worked.

Do YOU have friends in poly?That actually talk to you huh do you?

Okay you probably do.

On with the story exciting huh,Jonan has friends and is not a loner bitch in school anymore ha.

These people eat like monsters.Especially Vincent,the guy eats like a fucking cow man.When I just settled in my seat for like 5 minutes he was stuffing himself happily(to us scarily)at the sushi belt.

From the experience I learnt many things about my class people.

1.Minghui doesn't wait for the sushi,he runs after it when it's moving on the belt.

2.Vincent laughs alot.(it spreads,really.)

3.He erects when he laughs.(Don't know why,don't wanna know.)

A more detailed explanation.

Vincent:HAHAHAHAAHAHAH!(laughing for another reason or the other.)

I notice a suspicious bulge in his pants.

Me:Eh Vincent you steam ah...

Vincent:No lah!(Looks down and presses the bulge down.)

Me:It's not going down,what is it,does it like charge when you laugh?

Aside from that,Vincent has psychic powers other than his um erectile powers.

Vincent:Eh I can break the toothpick with my eyes.(grabs a toothpick and stares at it.)

Like 10 seconds later he snaps the toothpick with his finger very obviously and the waitress behind us runs laughing into the kitchen.

Hilarious guy really.

Alright soon either one of them will have the sushi photos up and my fearsome reputation will be spoilt.

But what the hell,anything for friends in tp right MH?:D

Cheers,Jonan.

2008-04-19T02:28:00.000+08:00

WHY IS POLY LIKE THAT WHY!

blood,tears and ciggarette ash.

2008-04-11T04:12:00.004+08:00

We cause hurt to people,they return the favour and then we try to repay it in an even more despicable degree.

It's a vicious cycle,we can't get out of it but we'll try anyway.

It's simple really:We do it or we die.We do it or we die.

Life's much sweeter when it seems a whole lot shorter.

Peace out.

Life's like that.

2008-03-21T05:45:00.003+08:00

Another hangover night at the pub.Cheers and drinking all around the crew.But after the fun and laughter(plus the occasional vomiting)is over that nagging feeling still sets in.What the fuck am I going to do with my life?Somehow my mother gets this vision of me selling blue vcds along the geylang streets.Parents,parents.I see people around me getting on with their lives and relationships,giving and receiving joy.

I only get that feeling when I'm taking weed.

Is love only a feeling?What can drive one to sacrifice even their own lives for another.Not just romantic love though,brotherly love as well.I do believe I can safely say I would lay mine down without hesistation for any of my group.(As long as they keep paying for my taxi fare.)Is love only a combination of pheromones and the genetic need to pass on DNA to ensure it goes on to the next generation?Sometimes when you meet someone for the first time,you get this instant attraction to him/her for no explicable reason.Perhaps it's the biochemistry of hormones at work.

Or maybe it's her short skirt and tight tank top.(for the guys as well if you're into that sort of thing.)

A song by The Darkness puts it rather aptly,he can't help falling in love but at the same time he's disillusioned by love that it's only a feeling.

Either that or schizophrenia is at work here.

I myself believe that love starts with a chemical spark,it's artificial.

Okay,actually it's because I can't find a girlfriend.Yeah,yeah,laugh at the single.

Anyway,biochemistry or divine fate,heck,it feels good any way.

So if you've got someone that you love(provided he/she reciprocates otherwise you're a loser i.e:me),savour every moment of it and enjoy the ride.You never know where it might take you,marriage,a soul companion or er suicide.

One a parting note,I notice I hardly used any vulgarities at all.

What the fuck,gah.

Signing off,Jonan.

2008-03-03T01:41:00.000+08:00

Lol my mother is kping me while I'm typing this.Life is good.

Lol@me.

2008-02-16T03:22:00.002+08:00

I feel down but joyous at the same time.It's surprising how such a strange concoction of emotions can invade your heartstrings and play them like a fucking bass guitar.But what the hell I'm not really one to dwell on such things either so I'll just fish around my pocket for another cigarette and watch life trundle by...

Happy fucking Valentine's day.

2008-02-15T02:05:00.002+08:00

It's Valentine's day again hooray!I can see couples streaming around me engaged in acts of romance and otherwise which we shall not venture into.My friends are going out with their partners and what are we four losers doing?Slacking at void decks.Definitely not in the Valentine spirit.

Do we have flowers?No.

Romantic dinners at candlelit restaurants?No.

Girls?Not a chance in blue freezing hell.

And walking through the mall we see all that.Like Jing Yuan said:"Must be their school give them one.Knn we don't have then they got.Confirm is the school give one lor.CB see that one so ugly also got!"

Talk about sour grapes but heh,that's our style.

The actual origin of the Valentine's Day was to commemorate Saint Valentine's martyrship for refusing to deny Christ.

In other words,they cut off his head cause he said no.

Not because he fathered 10893434 children or so.

Very romantic isn't it?

Just another attempt to spoil Valentine's day ha.

Anyway I shouldn't be chainsmoking alone at a playground alone on a beautiful night like this.I really shouldn't.

2008-01-09T01:11:00.000+08:00

New year resolutions are for fags!

Random shit.

2007-12-28T02:16:00.000+08:00

Varian:Eh fiq,the guy give you your pay already or not?

Syafiq:Ya,he pay me $300 liao.Otherwise how I buy my PSP?

Varian:Eh!He haven't give me yet leh!That day he say he going to pay me already then-

Syafiq:-You work for free what vae,you work for free.

Varian:*Sad face*

Christmas Blues.

2007-12-26T00:04:00.000+08:00

Hello everybody i am so fucking stoned from drinking at my relatives place so please excuse lousy grammar or otherwise fuck.currently i am hammering my fucking keyboard because my brain isnt coordinating properly with my body.

It's Christmas and I have one sonofabitch headache.
It seems that Christmas is losing it's magic every year as more and more people more or less don't really give a damn about it anymore.things used to be different when i was a kid or maybe i just view things in a different perspective now.well anyway people should just sit back from all the shopping and shit and just take a good look at Christmas.I'm not talking about religous overtones and stuff like that.I mean about "trying to be nice to the people you can't stand all year" as blink 182 said.No christmassy gimmicks or shit just showing some goodwill to one's fellow man.Sometimes people just need to see beyond the shopping,promotions and even religon.

Holy fuck I think I'm really really wasted.

Peace out and have a merry merry Christmas.

Fuck yeah.

2007-12-17T01:17:00.000+08:00

I haven't jacked off in 5 days,got only 4 hours of sleep for the entire period and goddamn i'm happy to be back.I'll post more details about it laterrrr so keep your eyes peeled.

Maybe I should tell you but I can't.

Cheerio,Jonan.

%$#%$

2007-10-07T21:37:00.000+08:00

fuck new glasses giddy shit.

My Rifle,My Buddy and Me.

2007-09-21T23:49:00.000+08:00

Alright it's been p-re-tty(per-ree-tee)long since I've updated and I've noticed the intelligence deficiencies among my peers.Coincidence?I think not.What I think is that my sharp wit is greatly required.

I guess most of you know about the NS man that went missing and turned up with his rifle at Orchard Road huh.He probably wasn't going to give it a new paint job or shoot the Adult Video Rental owner in the head cause Backyard Gangbang 5 wasn't in yet as promised.So why the hell would someone carry a Sar 21 into town?Maybe his sergeant told him to treat his rifle like his girlfriend.I'm sure they enjoyed some pretty good movies together(it's no wonder they found a couple who were making out noisily in the cinema with bullets in their brains)before he got arrested.

But God,I'd hate to think what would have happened if he tried to have intercourse with it through the magazine slot."Give it to me!Smack that!"*BANG!"Hey,why's my cock in that guy's stomach.

That would be quite a large caliber for a bullet.Yeap,if dicks could kill.

Anyway penis projectiles aside,the reason stated in the paper was that his girlfriend broke up with him.

Then killed his whole family,fucked the neighbour's golden retriever(abit fluffy upon pentration but oh what the hell) and released a nude picture of him involving bondage and cross-dressing fetishes.

Okay lah,I shouldn't say such horrible things.I'm referring to the first part.

Maybe the September 11 tragedy was the work of 2heartbroken Iraqis and not politically-motivated at all.

Abdullah:"My girl left me last night...*______(fill in an Arabic curse),I love *______(fill in some Arab girl's name)so much.

Akeef:"That blows man,who're you dating now?"

Abdullah:"The neighbour's..."

Akeef:"Daughter?"

Abdullah:"No,goat."

*stunned silence*

Akeef:"O-kaay.So I guess you're gonna move on and hope better for the future?"

Abdullah:"Nope,gonna hit the World Trade Centre with a Boeing 747.Wanna come?"

Akeef:"Are you fucking retarded?I still have a bright future ahead of me!(Just got a job at Rent-A-Camel)"

Abdullah:"Don't give me that bullshit.It's cause you're still a virgin."

Akeef:"Fuck you.But I'm still young man,I don't wanna-"

Abdullah:"-They have those salty peanuts you like on board..."

Akeef:"Let's go."

But seriously if your girl leaves you,don't be an asscrack and do something stupid like carry a rifle into Orchard.Or fly a plane through the World Trade Center.

And please do not attempt to commit suicide.

Near anyone,that is.People work pretty hard to look good in town and shooting yourself in the head will get all that nasty blood and brains on their expensive,new jackets.If you really really have an irresistable urge to blow your head off then do it in a nice,quiet carpark.

Damn,then again you might ruin some Lamborghini's paintwork.

Ok I'm gonna try and hit my neighbour's window my fridge,

Cheers,Jonan.

The GST Hike:The Government Conspiracy

2007-07-07T20:07:00.000+08:00

Okay I've redone the blogskin.So that you guys won't have to switch from page to page and you can TAG while infusing my wisdom into yourselves.Ok you can get off your knees now.Now today,I've noticed that the GST increase brought about a fucking crisis.Before the GST hike,I would have at least a few dollars and some spare change left in my pocket.I use the coins to maim Benjamin by propelling them at high velocities towards his head.After the GST hike,I don't have any coins anymore.

Ben goes home unscathed everyday now.

Fucking crisis?Hell yes definitely.

But enough about me,I'm not selfish you know.What I want to draw your attention to is the motive behind it.The whole GST thing revolves around,believe it or not(actually believe it or you'll be ostracized by the rest of your peers for being a dumbfuck who doesn't want to listen to me),CONDOMS.

"Ah,condoms!Sweet rubbery confections that come with 3 different flavours!",you gasp.Why condoms?Let's take a dive into government policies.As you know,Singapore is suffering from a falling birth rate(if you did not know this you're stupid nutfucker and your parents are ashamed to be,well your parents).And why?Because most women haven't met me yet.But that's besides the point aight.Many young women don't want to start families because of the family-doesn't-help-my-career-unlike-the-way-I-blow-my-boss attitude.But wait,they still have sex so there's still hope.Unfortunately,these people practice safe sex-they use condoms.So unless they make condoms out of rice paper there's a very little chance of getting pregnant and they might abort and cook the fetus in oyster sauce.

Then some young bright lad in the parliament goes,"Hey!Why not we increase the GST so people WON'T BE ABLE TO AFFORD CONDOMS and they'll do it raw like on my favourite www.xxxflicks.com!"The old ministers go like:"Uh,I don't think that's a good idea.What kind of backlash will this cause?"Young fellow eyes them sternly and says:"Have you forgotten your duty to the country?For the sake of screwing your neighbour's wife and not getting beaten to a pulp by him when he finds out the kid's not his,you want to go against this?It's our only option.Our only hope to restore a dying nation.I am willing to forgo my own sexual safety"(He couldn't get a date because he looks like William Hung on crack)*Uproar breaks up in the parliament,ministers argue furiously.Finally the Prime Minister sighs and his finger punches a big red button.Goddammit no,it's not the one that says "Summon the Nude Catholic Dancing Boys"."INCREASE GST SO THAT EVERYONE WON'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY CONDOMS AND GO AT IT RAW INSTEAD AND FUFILL OUR GOAL OF HAVING MORE BABIES ALTHOUGH THIS IS KINDA LONG WINDED AND I DON'T KNOW WHY IT CAN FIT ON THIS BLOODY BUTTON" it says in big block letters.

"But this is like,contradicting what they do man,"you cry."I mean like,they were the ones that started this safe sex campaign thing!",you wonder.Sigh,the naivety of the modern society.Tell me,when have you ever followed a bloody government policy willingly?It's reverse-fucking-psychology man.No one thinks it's cool to follow what the government says.They tell you they want you to use condoms when actually they're hoping that you'll go at each other like a couple of wild horses.I'll bet if the PM announced something like:"Hey everybody,raunchy,condomless sex is great!"Everyone would bundle up their little friends in kevlar and fuck as cautiously as a porcupine trying to screw another doggystyle.

So everyone,now you know.Go out,spread the word,enlighten your friends.The GST hike is not as simple as it seems(Adopt-A-Jew foundation),it's actually a conspiracy that rivals the Da Vinci Code.Wait,it's even more drastic than that,at least they didn't try to get Jesus pregnant.

Strangely all the ministers died from STDs not long after.

What about when Singapore suffers from overpopulation?

PM:"Hey guys!It's cool to be straight now!"

You get the idea.

Over and bloody out,Jonan.

Now here's a reason why I hate dnt.

2007-06-24T00:38:00.000+08:00

Alright.Most of you who get on msn regularly(and jack off to my pic)should know that I have been currently S-T-R-I-P-P-E-D of my phone.Now,don't panic i.e:"OMFG!How am I gonna tell Jonan I want to buy his used underwear/Argh I can't call to express my overflowing admiration for his brilliance etc.I have a spare number.To tell the truth,I have another line for fan mail and (hot)girls to contact me.It seems that I'm supposed to be Ukrainian royalty.

Okay fuck it I bought prepaid lol.

With a phone loaned from one of my fellows(Kiong),you can now contact me.To buy my used underwear and/or express etc.The only problem is that a few keys are jammed and hard to press which leads to me swearing more than I should in a day.And I uh,kind of forgot my number so I have to dig around for the sticker.

Alright now with that out of the way,let's venture on to how I got my phone raped off me.

Hafiz(informed by mr low):eh guys how bout dnt tmr?meet at underground at 9.

-----------NEXT MORNING/11am-----------

Me:"Wtf is hafiz?It's eleven fucking oclock and he's still not here"

Fiq:"And I heard there's no dnt."

Hafiz on the phone:"Eh so got no dnt ah?Ok then I don't come down I go sleep.Thanks ah bye."

Me and fiq:"Fuck mr low la."

Ben:"Ya la fuck mr low la."

All:"Shuttup la Ben you also say got dnt right."

So.When you wake up at 9 in the morning to go for a class and you find out there's no class what do you do?

Lepaaaak of course.

We sat around until 3 when we all started having RO withdrawal symptoms.

"Eh I need to go level my character."

"Stay awhile first leh...Wtf why are you shivering?"

So I got home and were met by my parents.Who insisted that I told them there was dnt to go out at 9 in the morning when I slept at 4 last night and make myself think that I'm on heroin because there's no fucking way my eyelids can feel this heavy without being under the influence of something strong and harmful.And they continued by saying that I smell of ciggarettes when I clearly smell of Calbee Hot and Spicy wth.So with these two reasons they removed my mobile off my persons.

Effective?Yes.

Unfair?Uh huh.

Logical?No fucking way.

On top of that when the arguing got heated(me valiantly defending all that is right and just),my father brought in his pride and joy:Iron 7 club."Jonan,I am fully prepared to take responsibility for this."Yeah sure that's fine and dandy but how's Mom gonna get the bloodstains off the bedsheets?So thinking for my mother,I backed away and told him that he didn't want to practice putting with my head(Actually ah,mom never tell you that my head has this funny lump on it that makes it not very aerodynamic).Anyway,who wants to fight an angry guy with a golf club?

Not me man.I'm still a virgin.

Over and bloody out,Jonan.

Birthrights and Geeks.

2007-06-09T01:14:00.000+08:00

Being pushed to update by a certain annoying presence again,so here I am.I'd like to kick things off with the rising price of ciggarettes in our sunny little island.Interestingly,a pack which costs 9.50 here is worth about 4 dollars in countries such as Malaysia.And why so?Because the government wants us to quit smoking due aging population/want less people to die etc.Ok,this is a rather noble cause and suchlike but it is hell not effective.Why so?Notice the govt. whining about contraband ciggarettes being smuggled into Singapore at an alarming rate(ref. to the govt. whining not the ciggarette smuggling).Damn right they're screwing themselves in the ass.

If they want to curb the rise in smokers,they should instead introduce something like a QUIT CARD.Issue a tag number to smokers and each week they go without smoking they get a stamp.Accumulate enough stamps and you get sponsored to a "happy ending" at Geylang or Joo Chiat.

Wait damn,then people would be dying of STDs instead.

Alright on to some personal matters.I discovered that my parents lied to me.And it's not a small one either.It concerns my entire perception of my existence and my family line.

And no,I'm not fucking adopted.

My father told me that I WAS THE BROTHER OF JESUS.Well,the original holder of my name actually.I went through 16 years thinking that no matter what other people can do better than me,I'm still the brother of Jesus hell yeah,I could show them in the Bible that wow I'm Jesus' brother.Well,recently I found out that my name is mentioned once in the Bible OMFG COOL.Did it say "And Jonan,the brother of Jesus,took his divine hand and Jesus anoited him with his holy blessing and from that day on every descendant from the family line of Jonan had powerrrzzz."?

No.

It went more like:"And Jonan was the father of (fill in some Hebrew sounding name) and the son of (fill in another Hebrewish sounding name knn)."With this knowledge about my true heritage my illusions of royal blood were shattered.I could have appeared on the Da Vinci Code INSTEAD OF TOM HANKS.And I kind of expected my powers to manifest when I hit 18(and no I'm not talking about hallucinations caused by drugs you a holes)like Jesus.Damn,my dad told me he prayed till he had visions about my name.I sure as hell hope he didn't pray with a whiskey bottle and half a quart of Guiness extra stout.

So by the end of the day I learn that:1.I'm not part of any royal family sigh.
2.I can't get any royalties from the publishing of the Bible.
3.I'm not gonna be able to pick up girls with my godlike aura when I'm 18.

Life sucks when you're of average descent huh.

Nevermind,I think I kind of look abit like Caeser now...

Till the next time I get irritated,pressured and bullied into updating,Jonan.

P.S Dearest C PLS STOP PESTERING ME TO UPDATE WHEN I AM UPDATING BECAUSE I'M TYPING THIS AT THE SAME TIME WHEN I NEED TO SHIT.MY BOWELS FEEL FUNNY NOW THX TO YOU AND IM GOING TO BOMB HIROSHIMA NOW SO I'LL REPLY ON MSN LATER KTHXBYE.

Gigs and Fathers don't really mix.

2007-05-29T22:12:00.000+08:00

CHERYL DONT SO KP LA I UPDATE OK.

Hello very long since I've been here.Actually it would be delayed a little longer if not for an irritating presence as mentioned above.It's been a rather uneventful week other than the fact that I have to go back to school during the weekend.Everybody has to go back to school so it's not because of sucky grades.Ok,not everyone has to have remedial after remedial after remedial when school is over.I failed 3 subjects improvement from last year(five).Unfortunately 2 out of the 3 are core subjects and I guess you guys know I didn't fail English.SCIENCE AND MATHS SCIENCE AND MATHS FOR FUCK.I'm not going to use algebra,algepanties or alg-strings at work.

Another highlight was going to the comic strip gig at Esplanade.It was great other than the fact that I got cut on the arm,elbowed in the kidney and generally fucked around by the moshing crowd.I got smart and went into the back to kick people.Sweating(or perspiring as a certain annoying person likes to correct me)like a dog we headed to Memo to chill off.And guess who turned up there?My dad.And I'm damned sure that he wasn't there to dance.After a brief exchange in the street I ended up going home with him to avoid further embarrasment along the riverside.I don't want to be recognised as the "Hey look!It's the fight with father boy!" whenever I go to town.

Weeell.My wrist is tired I don't know why.And don't post stupid puns about masturbation about my tagboards please lol.I've updated once I may update again later cause I have to end this now since an irritating prick is waiting for me to post.

Yeah,I 've got fans from wide backgrounds.

I feel like eating lobster,Jonan.

P.S IM GOING TO GET STROKE IF I KEEP HOLDING THE PHONE INBETWEEN MY NECK KIONG.